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Doing our part to help motivate Andre Ethier

April 7, 2010 | 12:22 pm
The following blog is written in response to Dylan Hernandez’s story Wednesday on Andre Ethier, chronicling how he has always utilized doubt in his ability by others as motivational fuel …

The Dodgers need to trade Andre Ethier right now. Trade him while his value is at an all-time high.

He’s a one-year wonder. Last season was a miracle up there with the parting of the Red Sea. He should go straight into the Overachievers Hall of Fame.

Ethier has about as much chance of duplicating last season’s numbers as T.J. Simers does of actually hooking up with Salma Hayek. It was lightning in a bottle.

He couldn’t hit your grandmother if she threw left-handed. He can’t hit outside of Dodger Stadium. All that hooey about his six walk-off hits? He hit .218 with two outs and runners in scoring position.

He’s a walking mirage. Think the A’s didn’t know what they were doing when they were actually willing to dump him for the mercurial Milton Bradley? When ASU told him to take a trip to the local community college? Did I say Milton Bradley?

Deal him now and give Xavier Paul right field. When The Times does one of those Dodgers-vs.-Angels polls and it gets around to right field, Bobby Abreu should be unanimous.

Why the big love affair? Vicente Padilla could bat .300 hitting in front of Manny Ramirez.

So he hit 42 doubles. If he didn’t run like Franklin the turtle, a dozen would have been triples.

I’m telling you, trade him while the trading is good. But better make it to a National League team, since he hit just .203 in inter-league games last season.

Maybe Ned Colletti could con some team and get something useful in return, like a starting pitcher. Or a reliever or prospect or a bag of popcorn. Something. And while he can.

Andre Ethier is so done.

You’re welcome. Now don’t ever say I didn’t do anything for the Boys in Blue.

-- Steve Dilbeck