Sampler Platter: The beef whisperer, L.A.'s best tearooms, milky science and weird bacon products

What do goat milk, Gwyneth Paltrow and bizarre bacon products have in common? They all make an appearance in today's roundup of totally inessential food news.

--Meet the beef whisperer. He can tell a cow's age, gender and breed from one bite of meat. The Independent
--Iconic Mel's Drive-In closes today in Seal Beach. OC Register
--Morning Edition anchor Chery Glaser's five favorite L.A. tearooms. KCRW
--What carbonation really tastes like: sour. Wired
--Twelve weird bacon products you won't believe. Delish
--Poring over facts about milk: cow's, goat's, soy, almond, rice and hemp. Los Angeles Times
--Please enjoy this sausage necklace. Pahl-Fleischer
--Litigious Monster Energy threatens actual movie monster. Consumerist
--Gwyneth Paltrow shows you how to make a light Spanish dinner of tortilla espanola, poached shrimp and bread with tomato sauce. Goop
--Sam Sifton on Daniel Boulud's DBGB Kitchen & Bar. (New York Times) In the meantime, Daniel Boulud Brasserie at the Wynn in Las Vegas will shutter. (Eating Las Vegas)
--OpenTable announces its 2009 Fit for Foodies winners. No surprises in terms of L.A. restaurants: The Bazaar, Osteria Mozza, Palate, Street.

-- Elina Shatkin

Photo: Views of the Huntington Botanical Gardens are part of the charm of the very English tearoom. Credit: Boris Yaro / Los Angeles Times.

Sampler Platter: Cocaine gives Red Bull Simply Cola wings, French fried burritos and prison thyme

Burritos made from French fries, drug-addled Red Bull and the craziest barbecue grills you could ever imagine in today's roundup of food news.

• From a baby carriage to a fire-breathing dragon, 10 insanely bizarre BBQ grills. Funny Or Die
• Now we know why Red Bull Simply Cola gives you wings (in Germany): traces of cocaine. Wall Street Journal 
• Nobu tells diners not to eat the endangered bluefin tuna on its menu. Telegraph 
• Doing hard thyme: Ohio prisoners grow their own vegetables to save money. Dayton Daily News 
• A French fry burrito? LAist eats the amazing spuderito at Rick's Drive-In in Pasadena. 
• Costco will begin accepting food stamps in two of its New York City stores -- one in Astoria, Queens, and the other in Sunset Park, Brooklyn -- on a trial basis, starting in June. New York Times
• Celebrity chef John Burton Race of the New Angel in Dartmouth, Devon, is bankrupt. BBC

-- Elina Shatkin

Photo: Bigeye bluefin tuna lines the floor of the United Fishing Agency's auction house in Honolulu. Credit: Eugene Tanner / Associated Press