Bring your date to Hooters this Valentine’s Day. Wait, what?

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This just in: Hooters, the frat-friendly chain with a logo that resembles a pair of female breasts not so cleverly disguised as bulging owl’s eyes, is offering a Valentine’s Day special. The offer is called, ‘Forget the ring, and bring her in for wings.’

Yes, you can forgo the Valentine’s Day ritual of making your date feel special by toting her to the restaurant equivalent of Jumbo’s Clown Room. Sure, the ladies of Hooter’s don’t actually take their clothes off, but those little orange shorts and tiny tank tops leave little to the imagination. To top it off you can buy your girlfriend 10 wings and get 10 free.

Maybe you can amp up the anticipation by putting her in a blindfold and driving her to your local Hooters outpost. Imagine her surprise when that blindfold comes off and she’s confronted with your touching choice.

In reality, though, I suspect most men -- even those with a less-than-rudimentary understanding of what women want -- will shy away from the Hooters V-Day option. In all likelihood it’ll be the single guys who pack the restaurant on Monday, snarfing down greasy chicken wings, quaffing beer and hoping against all hope that one of those cute waitresses will give out her number.

If they only knew.

-- Jessica Gelt