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A Super Bowl stadium built entirely of snacks; I gained 20 pounds just watching

February 4, 2010 | 10:04 am

The Big Game Snack Food Stadium - Watch more Big Game Bonanza

Help! My eyes are bleeding! I just watched a 2-minute, 37-second video in which an announcer gives a play-by-play of the building of a 110,428-calorie Super Bowl stadium made entirely of fatty snacks.

Sponsored by Break Media and done in the noble pursuit of "meaningless Internet spectacles," the snack stadium -- snadium? -- consists of a butter-frosted field; stadium seating made of cookies, crackers and wafers; a Hershey bar jumbotron; cold-cut-and-cheese stadium trim; Slim Jim goal posts; hot dog, burger and doughnut fences; Twinkie and Ho Ho tailgaters; a hoagie blimp; and football teams consisting of carrot sticks and uncooked Vienna sausages.

Whew. Since Break Media dubs itself "the Internet's premier entertainment community for men," this borderline psychopathic display of food-based craftiness makes perfect sense. What else will men obsess over if not wrapping a burger in a glazed doughnut and dipping it in frosting while casting come-hither glances at a bunch of uncooked Vienna sausages with green olive football helmets?

Oh, right. Beer. And the big game itself, of course. I'll be watching with a few male companions of my choice and I'll be wearing a miniskirt made of guacamole and a top crusted in corn chips.

-- Jessica Gelt

Video credit: Break Media