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Dr. Lemonlove or: How I learned to stop worrying and love the Master Cleanse

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This article was originally on a blog post platform and may be missing photos, graphics or links. See About archive blog posts.


Rather than being a month of new beginnings, for me, January is a month of regret. Why did I eat three helpings of pecan pie after dinner for six nights in a row? Was it really a good idea to follow a martini with a glass of bourbon before popping open a bottle of Champagne? Did curing my hangover actually require a McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish? Those cigarettes did nothing to curb my orgiastic appetite.

So goes the inner monologue in rueful post-holiday minds across America, which is why those same minds so easily alight upon the cheerful idea of cleansing. You gummed up your system something fierce and you did it quickly, so why not erase that damage with equal speed by not eating for days on end?

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At least that was my thinking after returning from a winter vacation spent raucously touring up the East Coast with my all-lady punk rock band. And so it was that I decided to do five days of what is arguably the most well-known liquid fast out there, the Master Cleanse.

To read more about how Jessica Gelt lost six pounds of water weight and gained it back, click here.

Also, check back here for future posts on alternative cleansing methods. I did some research!

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