An unlikely union: readers weigh in

In Joe Mozingo's three-part story, we're introduced to Pam Griffin, a successful Omaha lawyer, and her husband Robert, an inmate in California state prison. 

Mozingo writes about the two, in Part One of their story:

He would be identified as a leader of one of the nation's most violent prison gangs, the Aryan Brotherhood. Prosecutors would say he earned the name "Blinky" because he could order an inmate's death with the blink of an eye.

She would buy a home on a street shaded by ash trees in a suburb of Omaha.

Share your thoughts on this series here.

Photo: Annie Wells/Los Angeles Times

Comments

[Bob Krohn]

God, what a mentally sick woman.
Another symptom of our declining society.
I believe it actually has a clinical name.
"Soap-Opera Syndrome" which I think is a variation of Munchhausen Syndrome. This article has done much damage by reinforcing the public pity these sick people crave.

[Barbara]

Pam Griffin is a tragic figure of her own making. It is unclear to me why she never sought mental health counseling.

Devotion long ago turned to delusion. Hers has been a solitary life nurtured by unfulfilled dreams and hopes.

I wish her well.

[Barbara]

Pam Griffin is a tragic figure of her own making. It is unclear to me why she never sought mental health counseling.

Devotion long ago turned to delusion. Hers has been a solitary life nurtured by unfulfilled dreams and hopes.

I wish her well.

[Timoteo]

I believe only those soulless cynics with the hardest of hearts would fail to be moved by this feature.
What an astounding story!
A harrowing commentary on our prison system.
A tragic example of our justice system gone awry.
But most importantly, a beautiful love story artfully told.
What the Griffins' have is a precious gift.
They serve as perfect examples of how rich and wonderful the love shared by two people can be.
I pray that one day they will be able to embrace one another.
Regardless, they have more today than most of us will ever allow ourselves to have.

[michele]

and who's to judge who, when,why they change? is there a time limit? were u there - in their heart, head, emotional past, present? With a 42 y.o. son who has spent most of his life in jail, drugs the reason, believe me, I read his letters, hundreds, same old thing, "....the choices I made......only myself to blame, ........so lonely....nothing to live for....I love you, Mom - thank you for answering my letters.... good days - bad days - desperate days...broken heart days... I wish I had chosen differently - next time out......."
You think the human mind/body is not complex, multifaceted, driven, is it through and through evil to the core - so you know, do you, Bob?
And how does one twin's DNA turn out one way and the other half another way? Some see beyond the outside and can empathize with the inner turmoil some live through. Some are not given the opportunity to die soon enough and end their lack of opportunity for a future to change outside of the cell. Strange how you call Pam mentally ill. Their connection was the written word, emotions expressed and shared - they each grew and hurt no-one. What's your problem? Go read Paradise Lost, Dante's Inferno, some Shakespeare and some e.e.cummings. Wake up and read a little.

[Andy Wilkins]

What a sad delusional women. This man is part of the Aryan Brotherhood, a racist neo-nazi gang. The evidence he ordered these murders is overwhelming. Yet this woman - seemingly smart, successful - throws away her life for him. Maybe she is afraid of real world relationships, where the man might leave you or things don't work out. So she has a relationship with a man in a cage. Sad.

[Alex]

It is reassuring that he will spend the rest of his life behind bars, it is disappointing that he did not suffer the death penalty.

[David]

Great series; thanks.

His is a life wasted; hers, too. They're the perfect couple.

[S. Callahan]

This article is so very sad. Obviously, none of the readers were at the trial, or know the evidence, so it really isnt fair to judge. Miscarriages of justice are not uncommon, and the case seems to depend primarily on the testimony of informants rather than hard physical evidence. The sentance is very harsh, harsher than many countries around the globe. Even if the charges are true, there comes a time in someone's life when they no longer pose a threat to society at large. This doesnt seem to be a clear case where the possibility of parole ought to be denied for ever. Or even the possibilty to kiss his wife.

[m]

Sappy. If you spent as much energy reporting on the acts of savagery committed by the AB as you did making this article sound so romantic, you'd get more readers.

I believe that's an "88" on her wedding ring. The AB use 88 as a code for "Heil Hitler" (the eigth letter of the alphabet=H, thus 88=HH)--how sweet.

[David Jones]

A compelling piece of reporting that raises serious questions about violence and racism in our society, about the brutality and absurdity of a prison system that breeds murderers rather than rehabilitates young offenders, about relationships, love and loneliness.

[Kathy]

Something went by me here. If Robert hasn't been in the gang for 20 years, what was the letter he allegedly wrote after the 1996 murder? That was just dropped in there and never amplified. The research says that many psychopaths are extremely charming and this seems to be true of Robert in his relationships to his wife and to the homies in his gang. In this case, the charm seems to have worked on a very vulnerable woman for a very long time. From the story as written, I am quite happy that he is still behind bars.

[kelly]

I knew Pam was sick when she married her jailed brother-in-law. The entire article showed how sick she really was. As a retired homicide detective, we tried to place sick people like Robert in jail from society to avoid further damage to families and society. What do you do with a person that as sick as Pam? I do not think there's a law against being stupid. What a wasted life.

[mikemi]

He's been associated with murders. He should never be allowed to walk free on that coastline. Prisons were built for predators like him. As for her...it's her choice.

[Elizabeth Zach]

Most interesting for me - and, oddly, I expected that by the third series, this would be confirmed - is the mention of Robert's practicing Buddhism. This Eastern faith essentially teaches that life is hard and that desire is suffering. If you can embrace those two tenets, the path becomes easier. So, in essence, whether he is released from prison or remains behind bars, Buddhism teaches that you can attain peace regardless of where you geographically are.

[Bill]

This is a joke...what a waste. For a woman with obvious intelligence and feelings to fall for this type of person is a total joke! I don't feel sorry for anyone who has been responsible for so much pain and suffering. Robert Griffin deserves everything he is getting. The Aryan Britherhood stands for nothing but hatred and misery. He and his organization are a blight on this country and everything good it stands for. If he really was repentant as he claims, he would become an informant on the brotherhood in order to help rid us of this heinous organization. To all California law enforcement and correction officials, please do us all a favor and keep this man incarcerated until he finally dies and goes to his just rewards. He is a blight and should remain isloated until his usless life ends! As for Pamela, I can only say I feel sorry for her; to have wasted a great deal of her life fighting for such a useless individual is a shame. Hopefully, she finds real peace for the remainder of her life.

[Rachael]

Why don't we see any remorse from Robert Griffin? Why don’t we hear about the families of the men who were killed? I think this piece does more to sensationalize the muscle-bound unrepentant criminal who picks up racism to pass the time than objectively report all the facts.

[Celtic Mist]

A very sad story. Some of the comments here are understandable, but still the vitriol surprises me. I wonder where the forgiveness is - and the opportunity for redemption. some don't ever deserve it, perhaps some have earned it. that's the thing our prison system has never sorted out.

what is sad for me is there isn't the budget, it would seem, to have a section of the prison system utterly dedicated to rehabilitation. to stop first time offenders from becoming repeat offenders (outside of the criminally insane, psychopaths, etc) and firmly embedded in the prison life. to have someone enter the system with the hope of rehabilitating them and have them go back into the world to live a fruitful good life. Griffin seemed to be on a strong path to redemption.

Did the lady in this story waste her life? Some people would say yes, possibly, others will say she lived a fantasy relationship that was non-threatening because it was not 'real life'... then again, perhaps her relationship was more real than many couples who are together in the flesh.

the AB is hideous and despicable. no excuse for them, and must be eradicated. but at one point in the article it explained that in the 70s the prison system was particularly weak and fostered race problems - and this AB, of many, gangs emerged out of it. authorities never seemed to have been able to put the genie back in the bottle on these gangs.

overall it was an excellent article as it gave insight into some worlds i am not privy too - and to which i would not want to actually be in real life privy to...

[Wes]

This is an incredible article and artfully written. Few have the courage of Pamela. Maybe even fewer are blessed to be loved so unconditionally.

[dogma]

I'm surprised at how judgmental and angry many of the commenters are. To say Pam "wasted her life" seems rather shallow. Who's to say your lives (our lives), perhaps dull and ordinary, aren't a waste of potential? I think the point of the article is to show how strange and unexpected love can be. You can analyze and judge all you want but, to me, the love they share is real, deep and layered with complexities. The article was well-written and was told without judgment.

[Wes]

What can I say? I just finished your series this morning and upon finishing it I burst into tears. This is the saddest and most beautiful story I have ever read in a newspaper. I just can't believe it's true. To think that someone would spend their whole life devoted to someone in such a situation. What a testament to committment and faithfulness that is so rare these days.

I personally believe that newspaper writing has an obligation to report from the margins of society and give the "minority report" of those who have been sidelined or oppressed. You've done that here leading us to sympathize with Robert and Pamela. I just couldn't imagine my life lived in isolation apart from my wife. Yet in the closing lines of your series it is made so crystal clear how Pam's faithfulness is the only thing keeping Robert alive. You see how all of her suffering isn't for nothing. It is the salvation of Robert.

I don't know if you were going there or not, but for me this is a good anology of the Christian understanding of salvation. I relate to Robert, as one who has sinned and can never really be free of that. And yet, God, represented by Pamela, loves with unyielding grace.

Anyway, thanks for the good piece of writing.

[Goetz Wolff]

It is with great sadness, but anger as well, that we are canceling our 7-day a week subscription to the LA Times, which has been going since 1980 when I returned to Los Angeles.

During those years the LA Times became a highly respected paper with great and comprehensive reporting.

However, in the last few years it has been groveling in the trivia and fluff of "personal interest" stories ON THE FRONT PAGE, cutting back on hard reporting while adding entertainment "features" such as the Envelope.

The Business section which once really covered critical economic issues now deals with personal finance.

The once respectable Opinion section (which went through a couple of ridiculous transformations along the way) now is little more than a couple extra columns in the first part of the Sunday paper.

And the fine efforts to establish a decent book review section has been buried as part of another section. And I could go on.

Certainly, the last straw has been the exile of national and international stories (if carried at all) to the back pages, because of the space-consuming trash on the front page. This has culminated with the latest news transgression: as much as a third (!!!) of the front page has been devoted to a soap opera report about a woman who was married to a prison inmate.

I truly feel sorry for the remaining few real reporters whose livelihood depends upon the LA Times--but the buck, literally, stops here with this subscriber.

The upside of our decision is that the money we save makes our NY Times subscription more affordable.

[RUTHIE MARSHALL]

I would just like to let Pam know she is not alone. I am in the same kind of situation. It's not fair for anyone to pass judgement on Pam or anyone else. We love who we love and that's all that matters. It's hard dealing with trials in court and out of court. Pam you must be an amazing woman and a very strong women. I will keep you & Robert in my thoughts and prayers. Stay stong for each other
God Bless
Ruthie Marshall

[geri wilson]

Mozingo does a brilliant job of juxtaposing the Catch-22 of their lives together and of Robert's life.

this could be a textbook journalism piece, demonstrating how you use specific facts - incidents - to create emotion in the reader. . ."showing, never telling."

Mozingo did an amazing job, leaving me with empathy for pam and robert warring with my distaste and sense of righteousness (god help me) against what he did and my tendency to want to psychoanalyze pam's choice of robert.

maybe in the end it's as one novelist said (can't remember exact quote but. . .), "lives are messy."

[Michael]

It's unfair to speculate on this woman's mental health, although it is hard to resist the temptation. Most of us simply can't understand why someone would choose such a sad, secret, and isolated life, so we assume she must somehow be nuts. But Robert Griffin is clearly a sociopath and some sociopaths are extremely good at manipulating people, even sane and intelligent people. Although this story is very sad, the real tragedy would have occurred if Griffin had been released. Pam Griffin's fantasies would have been dashed in fairly short order. As long as Griffin is in prison, Pam Griffin can maintain her illusions, continue to write and receive love letters, and cling to her fantasies of noble, doomed love. On another note, why did the editors at the Times think that this story deserved so much attention and space? A sad, deluded woman falls for a vicious sociopath. This is news?