The ins and outs of Thanksgiving-pie calories -- how to calculate your numbers

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Want to know how many calories are packed in an average slice of pumpkin pie? Of course not, but we’re here to drain the joy out of your holiday and we’ll tell you anyway: 320 calories. That’s just one-eighth of a 9-inch pie. Sans whipped cream. Or ice cream. Or toppings of any sort.

That number is from Nutrient Facts. For a nitty-gritty breakdown of pies, both commercial and homemade of various types, see Calorie Count. And this is where it really gets interesting ....

A serving of Marie Callender’s apple pie, it says, will set you back 863 calories. A serving is considered one-fifth of the pie. True, that may seem like an unnecessarily generous serving, but heck, if you’ve paid for it, you might as well eat it.

Not to worry, not to worry. A 155-pound person could work that off with a nice stretch of the legs, say at a walking-the-dog pace, after only about 3 1/2 hours. Don’t have a dog? Try four hours of bowling or four hours of automobile repair (no snacking). To cut down on the atonement time, try an hour and a half of running. Not walking, not stopping periodically to grasp your sides or your chest, but running.

Those numbers are from Nutristrategy, which offers up the calorie-burning potential of 200 activities for people weighing 130, 155 or 190 pounds.

For the truly neurotic, I mean healthful-lifestyle-loving, calculate your individual calorie-burning needs via the activity calculator at Caloriesperhour.com.

It allows you to factor in your precise weight and time.

You don’t have to stop there, of course. You could spend all day on the calculators offered on the site, parsing your numbers, your needs, your reality, your excesses ....

Or you could go have another piece of pumpkin pie, which is beginning to seem like a better choice, both nutritionally and from a mental health standpoint.

Each serving does have 7 grams of protein.

-- Tami Dennis