Current swine flu toll? Bah. Let’s just have a ticker of celebrities with it!

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Landon Donovan can start it. Costa Rican President Oscar Arias can help. In India, panic over the H1N1 epidemic is overwhelming hospitals, closing schools and movie theaters and keeping shoppers and workers at home. In the U.S., the most gripping aspect of the pandemic can apparently be summed up with: ‘Hey, did you hear Galaxy forward Landon Donovan has swine flu?’ Or, somewhat less common: ‘Hey, did you hear the Costa Rican president has swine flu?’

Here’s the Associated Press report from India. And the L.A. Times report on Donovan.

Then come the earnest questions about whether we’re going to do ‘something’ on these individual cases -- what kind of symptoms they have, what the patients are doing, what kind of care they’re getting, etc. Presumably, and it’s possible I’m wrong, H1N1 treatment for famous people is much the same as treatment for unfamous people, though perhaps a little more timely and solicitous.

Here’s what the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention advises in the event someone should develop symptoms. For starters, stay home. It goes on to explain just when you should seek emergency care. Bluish or gray skin color is a sure sign.

Here’s what the agency says (to Donovan’s and Arias’ loved ones and everyone else) about caring for a sick person. Some of it is familiar -- plenty of rest, fluids, etc. Some of it is helpful -- don’t take over-the-counter medications too cavalierly. And some of the advice gives pause to any true loved one -- the ‘wear a facemask’ suggestion in particular.

As for Donovan, the L.A. Times story quotes him describing his condition. ‘During the game, I just can’t remember the last time I felt that way,’ he said. ‘It felt strange to be out there. I kind of wrote it off and said it’s just the altitude and the smog. I got home last night and when I woke up this morning I was just on fire so I took a temperature and had a 100.7 fever and figured something was going on. So I went to the doctor and sure enough. ... Now it’s turned a little worse. Now it’s a full-blown flu. All afternoon I’ve just had really bad chills and a bad fever and a lot of congestion.’ Yep. Sounds like the flu.

As for Coasta Rican President Arias, he’s busily working away, the Miami Herald reports, in self-imposed quarantine.

-- Tami Dennis