A mother of twins at 66, dead at 69: fair or foul?

Maria del Carmen Bousada, the woman who became (briefly) the oldest new mother in the world at 66 after giving birth to twins in 2006, is reported to have died Saturday in Spain of cancer, leaving her 2-year-old sons, Christian and Pau, motherless. Ms. Bousada was unmarried, and according to one report, her nephew will be raising the children who survive her.

The death has been reported broadly in Spain, but is just today being reported by news outlets in the United States.

In the age of endless chatter about reality parenting, extreme childbirth and other feats of fertility, Bousada's death has become the latest to spur debate over the circumstances under which one should become a mother, including that of middle or old age. And a joint effort by BabyCenter.com, an interactive parenting network, and the makers of the at-home E.P.T.pregnancy test has some provocative findings on the attitudes of women who are pregnant, trying to become pregnant or have become recent mothers about such issues. They're culled from an online survey completed by 1,095 respondents May 18-24.

Here's a sample of their findings, due to be posted here in the next couple of days:

--Half of respondents said they believed people are fit to become parents at any age. But the other half said they believed that if parents have children after the age of 45, it is not good for the children involved.

--A quarter of the women who completed the survey said they believe physicians should be held more responsible for providing in-vitro fertilization treatment to women who might be deemed "unfit" parents. Another quarter, however, said that making such a judgment is not part of a doctor's job.

--Roughly half the women surveyed believed that single women seeking IVF treatment should receive tougher scrutiny before service is provided, particularly in the areas of emotional well-being and financial stability.

--70% of those taking the survey said they believe that the public visibility of large families and multiple births (for instance, Jon & Kate Plus Eight, Octomom and the Brangelina family) is giving people a glamorized view of raising children. (At the same time, however, 31% said they considered Angelina Jolie, a mother of six, the celebrity that most closely fits their idea of how to build a family.)

--70% said that even if they could, they would not select embryos with pre-determined physical features.

No one would argue that the sample women who took the time to respond to this survey is necessarily representative. But it certainly is food for thought and debate. What do you think about Ms. Bousada's death or the survey's findings?

--Melissa Healy

Comments

[ngh]

Fair or foul? Foul. Not fair to kids. Mother too old and more likely to die than if she were younger.

[Pauline]

I believe that God would not bring a child in the world that he could not provide for, It's pepole who stand by and do nothing to help. As a mother of three I can say that giving life is one of the most blessed thing's a woman can do. Yes there is a lot to consider when attemptting to have a child and death is one. However death is promised to everyone and we do not know the time nor day of our appointed death. My aunt is 86 year's old and moves faster than I do, who are we to judge the appropiate age to have a child? if God open's the womb to life God bless the woman willing. For however long she has on earth with her child/children let's pray for good memorie's and strong bond's to live on.

[carly]

It is not right. Clinics need to be regulated. There is a related post at http://iamsoannoyed.com/?page_id=588

[Alison]

"God" brings plenty of people into the world that "people" can't provide for - witness the awful poverty that afflicts the world's slums - and more, that the environment increasingly cannot sustain. Raising children *is* tough, and yes, TV's showcasing of "successful" huge families masks the travails that most families, with even one or two kids, endure.

A woman's "right" to have a family must always be trumped by the welfare of her children. We already exercise this principle when Child Protective Services intervenes in abusive households. Women have no right to inflict the awesome responsibility of child-raising on third parties.

[sound mind]

WHo is deciding fit to parent based upon finances and age-
Yes, the culture of big brother is upon us- How sad?
If we promoted morals and values as a society we would not have this agenda- the socialist will be the end of all that is good.

[Christine]

Anyone can have unresponsible sex, we know that. That is why there are so many mentally or emotionally unstable people. I think people should be sterilized if they have an IQ less than 120. Watch the movie Idiocracy, it's funny but could become a real concern! Dumb people having dumb kids who are irresposible, loading down the system, burdening society and becoming the next criminal......

[SS]

I think sometimes we go AGAINST God's will when we do such things as bring children into the world ie. at 63 years old!

[Elle]

I am 65-years-old, and I thought Ms. Bousada's decision to have children at such an advanced age was an extremely selfish and uninformed one. There is a reason that women become infertile in their 50s. It is a tragedy that two babies were born merely to be orphaned. Further, it is a stretch to imagine that the birth of these poor children, which would have been completely impossible without extreme medical intervention, had anything to do with God. Doctors who are responsible for enabling such poor judgment should be held financially and professionally accountable. Just because you can doesn't mean that you should.