Colbert solves the healthcare crisis. Really.

Enough with this talk about President-elect Barack Obama's healthcare plan. What Americans really need are hormones to gradually change women into men, a drug to increase their cholesterol enough so that they can take cholesterol-lowering drugs, and an online store at which they can download songs for any medical emergency ("Little Red Corvette," in some particular cases, for example).

So says Stephen Colbert in his Cheating Death segment.

Here are the more traditional reports.

Testosterone makes women friskier -- but should it be prescribed?

Statins may benefit healthy people too

Lifesaving chest compressions near-perfect when done to disco hit

-- Tami Dennis

Photo: Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central

Credit: Jason DeCrow / Associated Press