IRAQ: Onward butter soldiers

Yes, you hear about strange things in Baghdad. Peruvian security guards singing Frank Sinatra in the Green Zone. A sheik who prided himself on being a dead ringer for Sean Connery.

Once a friend attended a Friday sermon in Baghdad, where the cleric told his congregation he had found proof of America's wickedness and started to recite a text that had been passed on to him. "Asia's crowded and Europe's too old. Africa is far too hot and Canada's too cold and South America stole our name. Let's drop the big one. There'll be no one left to blame us."

My friend thought he knew the words and then realized the preacher was reciting the 1970s song "Political Science" by Randy Newman.

But last week, I had my own encounter with the bizarre. On line for Thanksgiving dinner at a U.S. Army base, we passed ice sculptures of Babylonian winged lions. That was fine. I didn't even mind the little gingerbread houses decorated with candy canes and Oreos. It was the life-sized model of a soldier that freaked me out. Even the soldiers were disturbed.

It was sculpted from some fatty food product, either vanilla icing or butter. You had to touch it to find out. It was defintely butter. A six-foot tall butter soldier.

It stayed there for several days and didn't melt. I wondered who spent their time sculpting this thing. Was it some contracted food worker ordered by his KBR supervisor: "We need a six-foot butter soldier for Thanksgiving." Or maybe it was just a man who believed this was his way to pay tribute to his country. I just don't know.

— Ned Parker in Baghdad

Photo: Butter soldier will not melt in battle. Credit: Ned Parker