Which Itch is Which?

This blogger has received a lot of inquiries about an article in Thursday's L.A. Times concerning an issue some Trojans are having with their, um, equipment. No word whether the players are miffed about a headline calling the problem "little."

Some have asked whether this blog is above going below the belt. It's a touchy subject, so we just have to write around it a little bit. Don't worry, we'll still scratch your itch -- for information.

Got your chuckles out? It's no laughing matter for any player with tinea cruris, better known as jock itch. Don't confuse it with Rocky Mountain ... fever. That's only Jeff Byers.

There actually is quite a bit of confusion about the story. Although a number of players have referred to it as "jock itch," many sources around the program are insisting that it's just chafing caused by a new style of shorts the team is wearing. Either way, this is one problem we really hope Conquest Chronicles doesn't do an Injury Clinic on.

After practice on Thursday, Pete Carroll told a group of giggling reporters, "Our sensitive rub spots are really on the decline now. We're over the hump on that one. I think that's behind us now." Earlier that afternoon, he caused quite a few laughs on "The Petros and Money Show" (KLAC-AM 570).

MONEY: Speaking of fun ... what the hell is with this story we heard about the jock itch taking over like 25% of the guys or something?

CARROLL: No! That's not what happened. But for the guy who's got the little fire going on in his groin [Petros erupts in laughter] it's a big problem, I'm tellin' ya!

MONEY: So it's an isolated incident? It hasn't spread to the majority of the team?

CARROLL: No, it's not that kind of deal. It's something with the shorts or something. I have single-handedly taken this problem on! [Money erupts in laughter] I've solved it.

PETROS: You gotta' send that one dude to College Uni. He can't be in Flour Tower anymore. You've just gotta' send him to Pardee Tower. You've gotta' get him outta' there.

MONEY: He's gotta' be deloused!

CARROLL: It's not a lousing situation! It's just a little rub, here and there, is all it is!

PETROS: You remember, the plane bounced at Notre Dame -- what did you call it? The Poseidon Adventure? Everything gets magnified when it's USC football. Even jock itch!

Click here to listen to the whole thing. The entire interview is good, even excluding this sensitive subject. Petros makes a good point about this being blown out of proportion. This should probably be a dead issue, but for some reason we haven't found a single guy who can talk about it without cracking up.

Earlier in the show, Money joked that the problem was caused by students from the Leventhal School of Accounting, a la Revenge of the Nerds (we can't link to it because of expletives, but if you're up for it just search YouTube or Hulu for "Liquid Heat"). In a related segment, Petros, who used to be USC's team captain, admitted he once bruised another area below the belt during a football game. It was a direct hit with a helmet. OUCH.

For (hopefully) your last laugh on this subject, Deadspin found the perfect photo to compliment its post.

-- Adam Rose

Completely irrelevent photo by Wally Skalij / Los Angeles Times