Water Cooler Jokes

Trojan Wire ran a classic college football joke that's been circulating on email the past couple days. Here's another one from Herb in Calabasas:

A young football recruit is in the process of selecting his college of choice. While visiting Notre Dame, he notices a golden phone sitting on coach Charlie Weis' desk.

"What is that?" the recruit asks.

Weis responds, "That's the phone to heaven. All college coaches have one."

Ecstatic, the recruit asks if he can use the phone.

"Sure," Weis replies, "but it'll cost you $100 per minute."

Disheartened, knowing he can't afford the call, the recruit thanks Coach Weis for his time.

While visiting Cal, the recruit sees the same gold phone on the Jeff Tedford's desk. "Is that the phone to heaven?" he asks Tedford.

"Yes, it is," Tedford responds.

"How much is it to call heaven?" he inquires.

"It's $100 per minute, son," Tedford responds.

Again saddened, he leaves the office.

At his last stop, USC, the recruit spies the gold phone on Pete Carroll's desk.

Noticing the glance, Carroll says, "That's the phone to--"

The recruit interrupted him.

"--to heaven. I know," he said disappointed.

"What's the matter?" Carroll asked.

"Well," the recruit started, "it's so expensive to call I can't afford it!"

Carroll responds, "Expensive? Son, it doesn't cost anything to call heaven from here!"

Confused, the recruit says, "Really? When I was at the other schools, it cost $100 per minute!"

Smiling, Carroll responds, "Well, son, that's because here, it's a local call."

Comments

[Holden]

It's Jeff Tedford, and of course the call would be free - USC cheats.

[Lawrence Ross]

Must have been the same phone Reggie Bush owned when he played at USC. Oops, my bad. That was the golden handshake.

[Rufus Leaking]

Hey, you illiterate condom boys: It's Jeff Tedford, not Tim. You guys don't really think a USC diploma is prestigious, do you? You're the academic laughingstock of the Pac-10, y'know.

[USCNY]

Dufus - your idotic comment isn't worth the words I'm wasting on you right now.

[DGeneE]

Actually, Oregon State is the worst ranked school, academically, in the Pac 10.

Stanford is at the top, ranked 4th by US News and World Report.

USC is ranked 27th, just two spots behind UCLA and six behind Cal.

The next highest ranked Pac 10 school is Washingon, at 41. Arizona is 96, Oregon 112, WSU 118, and ASU 124.

Which makes the Pac-10 a braintrust compared to the SEC - SEC must stand for Schools for Educational Casualities. Their highest ranked school is Vanderbuilt, at 19. Half of the Pac-10 is ranked in the top 50 schools; only 2 SEC schools crack the top 50 (and that's because Florida sneaks in at 49).

However, Leaking is well-named - it's what his brains do from his ears. Better luck participating in the real world next time, leaky boy. Don't let the bitter continue to make you post such inanities, 'kay?