Retailing while intoxicated: J.Crew's $285 jeans

The Rage hates to come down on usually affordable J. Crew. But with these new pretentious, overpriced jeans selling online, they need to sober up.  The "Painted Selvedge" denim (priced at $285) is part of the their 'collector's items' editions--um, whatevs--and features hand-distressing and paint splatters.

That distresses me quite a bit. For that price, you can buy madras bermudas ($59.50, right), a matching dog bed for the loyal black Lab ($118), Jack Purcell sneakers ($65), and two striped polos ($19.99 each). Whew!

Unless Jackson Pollack came back from the dead to go ape with his brush, these jeans are a sad and expensive excuse for individuality. J.Crew claims that only a handful were made, so there's no chance that the dude to your right will have the same holes in the knees or paint splotches. (Thank heaven almighty!)
Think of the paint splatters as a Rorschach test, which clearly spells out "duped."

photo: J.Crew.com