J. Crew Books compiles a hilarious list of missed gifts and mis-gifts

It's the last day of 2009, and I'm sitting here in the Image section cubicle farm laughing to myself, thanks to the book "What I Didn't Get for Christmas."

It's the second title to come out of apparel retailer J. Crew's  foray into the field of publishing, and it ended up on my desk after I called the company to find out more information about its first book -- a hilarious (though unfortunately not currently available) tome titled "What a Man Should Know" by Max Blagg.

By Partners & Spade (a team that includes Andy Spade, founder of the Jack Spade line of men's utility bags and accessories), it sounds like an odd, and slightly depressing idea for a book -- anecdotes about memorable holiday presents that never were (or horribly ill-received gifts that were under the tree), by random people you've mostly never heard of before.

There's one missed gift/mis-gift per page, and none are more than a few paragraphs long. Each is accompanied by a crudely drawn Hugo Guinness illustration on the facing page. Some of the laugh-out-loud recollections involved a balance beam (clad in her gymnastic shoes, Amanda Brooks took the wraps off a ... grand piano), a G.I. Joe Mobile Support Vehicle, and the gift of wrong jeans ("to say what kind they were would damn them unfairly," writes Jeff Kling).

It might be kind of a downer to find in your stocking on Christmas morning, but since it's currently on sale at J. Crew's website for $9.99 (down from $20), it's worth salting away to throw out on the coffee table next year. With any luck,it will serve as a conversation starter for your own friends' tales of Christmas gifting gone awry.

-- Adam Tschorn

Photo: The second title from J. Crew Books, "What I Didn't Get for Christmas," by Partners & Spade's Andy Spade and Anthony Sperduti, is a funny and touching recollection of missed gifts and mis-gifts of holidays gone by. Photo credit: J. Crew

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Word up: The return of the 'Sex and the City' nameplate necklace

Sarah Jessica Parker's "Carrie" necklace in HBO's "Sex and the City" helped bring urban chic into high fashion -- and was one of the only constant pieces in her character's ever-evolving wardrobe.

When the show became a hit, we all ran out to get a nameplate necklace (my "Emili" necklace is suitably rough-hewn, hand-crafted by an East L.A. high-schooler). But the flames cooled on the trend rather quickly; and we all moved on to diamond solitaire pendants, bib-style statement necklaces, etc.

But lately, I've been noticing the return of wordy necklaces -- sometimes spelling out names, but more often calling out locales and phrases.

And hip fashion companies are getting on board with the resurgence, too. Topshop's U.S. website, for example, has an array of phrase-y necklaces on display, spelling out "Essex," "I Love London," "Ooh-La-La" and "Cockney," among other sentiments.

But in the end, I'm still a fan of the original ghetto-gold name necklace (I even like the diamond-encrusted ones); the more frilly the script, the better. SoulJewelry.com has fab ones that will last forever, ranging from $100 to $200.

-- Emili Vesilind

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An alternative to the typical holiday bling

Photo: Topshop "Cockney" necklace, $20. Photo credit: Topshop

Winter layers: Get perfect lashes by mixing two mascaras

There are plenty of mascaras that claim to do it all: thicken, lengthen, de-clump and darken. But us product-loving gals know the truth: Most mascaras only cover roughly two out of the four bases.

And lately, it seems that every time I ask some lush-lashed lady what her secret is, she claims to use two different mascaras -- typically one that lengthens and thickens and one that defines and shines (in that order). It's a trick makeup artists have used for years that seems to finally have gone mainstream.

I'm a daily mascara-wearer, but I've always stuck to one tube at a time. In my quest for longer, more spidery lashes (that are clump-free, of course), I decided to test-drive the two-step process.

I started with two coats of DiorShow by Dior mascara ($24, sephora.com) -- a cult-favorite mascara famed for its lash-protracting capabilities (naturally long-lashed ladies beware: your lashes will bat the lenses of your sunglasses if you apply too hearty an application).

The length I achieved with DiorShow was fantastic, but there were a few minor clumps to be sorted out. So next, I went to my go-to: Maybelline Great Lash mascara ($4.89, drugstore.com) -- a basic, shine-enhancing product that very rarely clumps. Slowly, I traced the arc of my newly long lashes, gently combing out (with a little wiggling of the brush) the few snags within.

Then I stepped back. Wow. My naturally puny lashes had adopted an entirely new look -- one that encompassed all four of the great lash virtues. I could hardly stop batting my eyes all day. Apparently it does take two to make a dream come true. 

-- Emili Vesilind

Photo: Maybelline Great Lash mascara (left), courtesy of Maybelline; DiorShow by Dior mascara, courtesy of Dior.

Michelle Obama swings to 'It bag' status

Nearly a year after the inauguration, it's no surprise that there are a bevy of Obama-rama products on the market to commemorate the first couple, from President Obama flip-flops to cardboard cutouts of the First Lady. But this Mighty Michelle Shopper, which I found at my favorite local bookstore back east (and promptly purchased for the politico on my list) has to be my favorite.

It's from Pittsfield, Mass.,-based novelty company Blue Q, makers of such life necessities as the Dirty Girl Bubble Bath, Miso Pretty Lip Balm, Look and Feel Canadian Breath Spray and Supermodel Meal Gum. Just $11.99, the shopper was designed by British illustrator Fiona Hewitt, and is made from 95% recycled polyproplylene.

It's been a top seller since it was introduced in October, according to Mitch Nash, co-owner of Blue Q, who says that his company has shipped tens of thousands of the stylish accessories, with multiple reorders coming in from several retail stores, including Pearl River Mart in New York City. "They are selling well in red and blue states."

"We make lots of these bags, but this was the first topical one we’ve done. We wanted to give it a fantasy feel, to have it embody the feeling of the country being on the upswing." The first lady is appealing on a lot of different levels, he adds, "As a style icon and a healthy eating advocate, which is why we put some gardening elements in the illustration. She's so open and warm and inclusive, and she hasn't created any real controversy, at least not yet. Everyone loves Michelle."

The project was smooth sailing except for one detail--getting the first lady's arms just right, he says. "We had to redraw them several times because they weren't buff enough."

Photo: The Mighty Michelle shopping bag ($11.99), designed by British illustrator Fiona Hewitt and made by Pittsfield, Mass.,-based novelty company Blue Q, is 95% recycled polypropylene plastic and has been a top-seller for the company since it was introduced in October. Photo credit: Blue Q

-- Booth Moore

Bearded & Tschorn: U.S. beard battle set for summer

It looks like there might be some use for that leftover Movember mustache in the new year after all. Beard Team USA, a loosely organized group of stateside facial hair aficionados, I became acquainted with during my coverage of the World Beard & Moustache Championships earlier this year, has announced that the first-ever Beard Team USA Nationals will be held at the Les Schwab Amphitheater in Bend, Ore., on June 5, 2010, in conjunction with that city's 8th Annual Balloons Over Bend hot air balloon festival.

The next installment of the biennial WBMC won't take place until mid-2011 in Trondheim, Norway, and at the last competition over Memorial Day weekend in Anchorage, the  BTUSA's point man Phil Olsen had floated the idea of a U.S.-based facial fur faceoff to be held in the year in between.

According to BTUSA's website, the competition will be in four separate categories: best moustache, best partial beard, best full beard and freestyle, with the winner in each category getting $1,000. A fifth $1,000 prize will go to a randomly selected competitor, which is important to note since there are no qualifying events or gender restrictions, leaving the field truly wide open to competitors of every stripe.

I, for one, think the scraggly, bifurcated beard that's been using Brad Pitt as a life support system as of late could pose a serious threat in the partial beard category -- celebrity aside. (I mean, what is that? Does he let the kids braid it at night or is he having Johnny Depp envy?)

Registration information hasn't been posted yet, but in the mean time, those in pursuit of hirsute glory should just let it grow forth. 

-- Adam Tschorn

Photo: Brad Pitt, shown at the premiere of "Invictus" on Dec. 3, has an oddly bifurcated beard that -- celebrity aside -- could be a serious contender in the first-ever Beard Team USA national competition slated to take place on June 5 in Bend, Ore., in conjunction with the 8th Annual Balloons Over Bend hot air balloon festival. Photo credit: Kevin Winter / Getty Images

Read more Bearded & Tschorn: The World Beard and Moustache Championships

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An Emporio Armani first: Italian jeans with L.A. genes

For the first time, Emporio Armani, the lower-priced label from the Milan-based Giorgio Armani fashion empire, is offering jeans produced right here in Los Angeles as part of its Spring/Summer 2010 collection.

We haven't gotten our hands on a pair yet, but the press materials describe the four styles of jeans ( two for men and two for women) as “the refinement of the Armani brand with an original interpretation of the authentic vintage American look.”

The Stars and Stripes vibe will also be evident thanks to red, white and blue leather labels, brushed white enamel rivets, and special hangtags. The $195 price tag puts it in line with other Emporio Armani offerings.

We couldn't get anyone at Armani to tell us exactly where in "the heart of vibrant L.A." the jeans are being produced and finished -- or specifically what the production entailed (it could be anything from the complete design, sourcing and manufacture of the jeans to simply stitching together the final few pieces of a garment that have been created elsewhere) but the announcement does make reference to "the craftsmanship and the professional secrets of the world-renowned wash and finish processes," which makes us think the jeans are at least being laundered to their broken-in look at one of the city's wash houses.

An Armani representative did tell us that the "Made in California" jeans are not a single season one-off, and will continue into future seasons along with new styles and products.

-- Adam Tschorn

Photo: A women's straightleg, light-wash style of Emporio Armani' "Made in California"  jeans. The two styles for men and two for women are the first ever jeans the company has produced in Los Angeles. They are available now at brick-and-mortar Emporio Armani stores (sorry, no online sales) nationwide (including Rodeo Drive and South Coast Plaza stores locally) and the Armani Fifth Avenue megaflagship in New York City retailing for $195. Beginning in February, the men's styles will also be available at select Saks Fifth Avenue (including San Diego's Fashion Valley Mall location) and Bloomingdale's stores (including the Century City Shopping Center location here in Southern California). Photo credit: Emporio Armani

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Celebs as artistic advisors? We think not.

It's been well-reported that the executive who put troubled starlet Lindsay Lohan in the "artistic advisor" seat at fashion house Ungaro-- former brand President Mounir Moufarrige -- was asked to hand in his resignation this month. And, shockingly, Lohan gets to stay on -- despite a roundly frowned-upon initial collection for the label for Spring 2010.

Lohan, who's not exactly taken seriously in Hollywood or fashion, was an unlikely pick for the position for two reasons: She's a tabloid staple with a shaky rep and no real experience in fashion and European fashion houses -- even ones foundering in financial woes, like Ungaro -- aren't usually keen to hire untested (not to mention all-around questionable) talent. Still, Lohan perseveres.

Which got us wondering if there were any theoretical designer brand-celebrity match-ups that would be advantageous for a fashion house (conversely, mass brands and celebs, a la Kate Moss and Top Shop, go together like eggs and bacon).

Take edgy songstress Lily Allen, who's a current face for Chanel. As stylish as she is, it's absurd to think of her advising Karl Lagerfeld on a formal basis. Ditto on Marion Cotillard for the John Galliano-designed Christian Dior label, for which she has been an ambassador in the past.

The only reasonable pairing that came to mind (though still unnecessary-feeling) is Madonna for Dolce & Gabbana. The parties have a long history of collaboration, and they both exist on a similar aesthetic plane. A runner-up might be Gwyneth Paltrow for Tod's, a house that's known for its conservative designs -- Paltrow's been the face of the brand in the past, but the company is now looking to its lofty heritage, and not celebs, to sell bags.

Granted, the house of Ungaro doesn't have a resident genius -- unknown designer Estrella Archs stepped in for Spring 2010 -- and therefore clearly needs all the hype help it can get. But contracting any celebrity to consult on a designer fashion brand, let alone the queen of tabloid chatter, may prove to be disastrous in the end.

Can you think of any high-fashion/celeb pairings that might make the grade? Tell us in the comments section below.

-- Emili Vesilind

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Photo: Estrella Archs and Lindsay Lohan at the end of the Emanuel Ungaro Spring-Summer 2010 runway show. Credit: Peter Stigter and Jonas Gustavsson / For The Times

Strategic Shopper: Prolonging that holiday glow

 

I just returned from a snowy week on the East Coast, and I'm having withdrawal symptoms from my winter wonderland. Here are a few things that remind me of the lake-and-lodge lifestyle I recently left. (And remember, the week between Christmas and New Year's is one of the best times of the year for guilt-free shopping for yourself!) 

For comfort, I find the Gap dip-dye red sweater below reminds me of a roaring fire, the bag and coat of hunter's plaid.

For joy, the OPI nail polish is the perfect shade of glittery Christmas tree ornament red, and leave it to J. Crew to update the classic Aran hat in sparkly metallic silver.

To warm the soul, because I can't find a website that ships Harpoon's spicy Winter Warmer beer to California, I'll have to settle for a sip of Green Mountain Coffee, which isn't such a bad thing, especially when it's Gingerbread flavor.

And since I can't get the L.A. weather to cooperate, I guess I will have to turn the office air conditioning to near-Arctic (which may require a pair of stylish fingerless gloves).

-- Booth Moore

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Top photo: Vermont snow. Photo credit: Kathleen Moore

Top row: Dip-dyed cardigan sweater, on sale for $34.99 at Gap. Photo credit: Gap; Pendleton x Property Of Portland bag, $250 at Bloomingdales stores. Photo credit: Property Of

Middle row: Pendleton Meets Opening Ceremony peplum jacket on sale for $455 at Opening Ceremony. Photo credit: Opening Ceremony. OPI Crimson Carol red, $7.32 at nailpolishdiva.com Photo credit: Nail Polish Diva

Bottom row: Metallic Aran Isle Hat $19.99 at J. Crew. Photo credit: J. Crew. Green Mountain Coffee Fair Trade Gingerbread coffee, $8.49 at GreenMountain.com.  

 

Who's Sorel now?

I just got back from spending Christmas with my family back in Vermont. The last thing I did before leaving for the trip home to Los Angeles was slip out of my Sorel boots, and tuck them into the back of the coat closet, where they will remain until my return, when I walk in the door and slip them on again.

The chunky, Arctic-caliber boots have been my cold-weather-winter footwear of choice since childhood, and the current pair have lasted me more than two decades during which all I've needed to do to keep them in top shape is replace the liners (the early ones were a kind of felted fabric, the current ones are a toasty Thinsulate)

The liners were always key, since once you were safely removed from the inclement New England weather, they could be pulled out and warmed by a fire (or inverted over a heat vent) until needed again.

I was so enamored of my seasonal Sorels, my fraternity brother Frank "Fort" McHenry once remarked that he could always tell when winter was on its way by noting when I decided to don the boots, and that my decision to put them away for good was a surer indicator of spring weather than keeping tabs on Punxsutawney Phil.

Not having bought a pair of Sorels in more than 20 years, and having lived in Los Angeles for the last 13 of those, I continued to think of the Canadian label as a functional but hardly fashionable brand that had its peak in my youth and then lumbered off into obscurity.

So I was a bit surprised to see that the J. Crew website started selling a women's Sorel boot just before Thanksgiving and a men's version on Dec. 1 (they also carry a kid's Sorel, too). A few weeks later, I discovered that the Nordstrom at the Grove had a substantial selection of stylish choices for women (before we headed east, my better half picked up a swanky pair in black dubbed the "Joan of Arctic," for $120). And just this morning I received an e-mail blast touting the wide selection of Sorels at shoes.com -- with an offer of an additional 20% off all sale merchandise using the promotional code WINTER.

You certainly won't need them to traverse the streets of Los Angeles, but if your winter itinerary includes shuffling through some powder (say, a ski weekend in Aspen or the Sundance Film Festival), and you feel the need to boot up, (re)consider a trusty (and surprisingly stylish) pair of Sorels.

-- Adam Tschorn

Photos: The author's trusty men's Sorel boots circa 1989, top, and a current incarnation for women, bottom, the "Joan of Arctic" ($120 at Nordstrom). Credit: Adam Tschorn / Los Angeles Times

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Spa specials to get you ready for New Year's Eve

Arcona Studio ongoing: The Promenade spa is giving men 15% off its 50-minute Performance facial (regular price $115), which clears skin congestion and evens skin tone, through Jan. 16. You might not be an entertainer but you can get a $140 Awards Night facial, featuring Arcona's signature facial contouring, firming masks and anti-aging serums through March 13. The $165 "let it glow" 80-minute facial features fruit-enzyme exfoliation, facial contouring, serums, ice globes and oxygen.

425 Broadway, Santa Monica. (310) 458-3800. 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturday. www.arcona.com

Kate Somerville through Dec. 31: Buy a gift card for a facial and receive one for a signature facial (value $135) good through June 30. The peaceful garden spa is also taking 20% off all signature products. Some extensive skin series treatments are heavily discounted, including the $740 Detox (regularly $865), $900 Omni treatment (regularly $1,090) and the $3,850 Titan treatment (regularly $4,500).

8428 Melrose Place, Suite E, Los Angeles. (323) 655-7546. 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday through Saturday. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday. www.skinhealthexperts.com