At 50, is Madonna middle-aged? Are you?

Middle age. For me, the term does not evoke images of lithe women with blond highlights and perfect Pilates-sculpted asses that refuse to fall to half-mast. I typically associate middle age with naps and osteoporosis.

But Madonna turned the big 5-0 recently and Michelle Pfeiffer, right, Sharon Stone, left at right, and Holly Hunter, below, could all help her blow out a candle or two. (Their bones look mighty strong. ) Yes, we've all heard that 50 is the new 40 or even 30. In Pfeiffer's case, I might say that 50 is the new 28, but who's counting? But then, what the hell is middle-aged these days?

At what age, do you hit the middle? The Oxford English Dictionary defines "middle age" as "the period between youth and old age, about 45 to 60." In his psychosocial stages, the famed developmental psychologist Erik Erikson nailed the middle as 35 to 55 or 65 and felt that middle-aged people had to focus on creative stimulation and productivity to thwart stagnation. He also deemed self-absorption during these years as a quick path to a crisis. Narcissism in Hollywood? Never! But Erikson probably never saw a woman look this damn hot at 50, so, of course, he figured that vanity had to go.

Personally, I can't imagine living another 60 years -- that sounds exhausting. So I would like to think that at 40, I have passed middle age and I am now in the "nearing the end age." And if Hollywood actresses don't start aging, perhaps they're in the "just try and make me age age."

How do you define middle-aged?

Photos: Getty Images

Comments

[kat]

To quote Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes, I think middle age is when you're too old to be young and too young to be old.

And by the way, it's been the best time in my screwed up life. Aside from the part where my a*s has turned into the back of my leg, men call me "dear" and my husband watches the Weather Chanel, I've enjoyed middle age in all its peacefulness. Youth is turbulent and you end up wasting most of it on the wrong guys, raising kids, and being too dumb not to know better than to do things like sleep with a co-worker.

[kat]

P.S. I can hardly buy Michelle Pfiffer as an example of fabulous at 50 when people like her do not exist in the natural world.

[David]

By the frequency of injuries I receive from surfing to simply power walking around the resevoir in Silver Lake. The injury phenom started at 37.

[Newport Middle Aged 49 year old]

I remember being in my early 20's and my girlfriends and I would get hit on by Men we call "MLC's" which stood for "Mid-Life Crises" men.... Men over 40! Most of us are still friends and in our mid to late 40's. Children off to college, rehab, or jail..... husbands - boring... boyfriends kinda the same thing unless they are 30 and eager! As for me... I'm doing alright... 50 is aproaching in March, I've had no work done, been told I look in my 30's (I keep that little extra weight - for the fullness). Some what apprehensive about admitting my up coming age but will as it approaches - with little convictions... well maybe just a tiny bit of regret... hahaha....

[Ed]

Madonna is a rotted out, grotesque hag who needs to stop putting out "music." There are plenty of over 50 women who look way better than her... natural and beautiful. Like Diane Keaton. Unaltered, un-overly-gym bodied women are the true beauties.

[anon]

Middle-age begins at 35. Senior-hood starts at 50. That's the way it's always been, that's the way it will always be.

Doesn't define however, how we should love, think, talk, look, behave, be hired, etc.

[kat]

I have to agree with Ed. Madonna is nothing but an example of psychotic hedonism and obsession with youth. She's unnatural looking and as a woman of forty something (okay alot) I resent her exhausting pursuit of youth. She makes getting older look worse - not better. Women like Cher and Madonna are no sisters of mine. In fact, I think that Madonna's abuse of her body and other extreme measures to stay young, have actually made her look older.

[Susan Haase]

Madonna, Sharon, and Michelle all look younger now then they did 20 years ago! How can that be? A good plastic surgeon, that's how. And yet they want to give credit to yoga and spirituality. Please............

[katheryn]

I am 67, my husband is 50 and trying hard to hide his lack of sexual attraction to me. Despite exercise, weight-watching. decent genes, mental agility, etc., I have stepped firmly into old age with its accompanying loss of physical beauty. Call it what you will, but for women 50 is solidly in middle age. I feel badly for women actresses whose lively hood and self-image depend on being gorgeous forever.

[kat]

Katheryn,
Many women endure in their show biz careers because they an important quality - talent! And if they have talent, like Streep and Streisand, they will have as much work as they want. Women like Madonna won't. Bettee Davis worked until she died - script in hand.

As far as your marital woes. . what the hell were you thinking! Nothing makes an older woman feel worse than a young/er man who considers her invisible sexually. You can't blame men, they are hardwired to be attracted physically. It's nature at work and it's all sorts of Darwinian theory in action. It's easy to call a man like your husband a superficial pr*ck but he's fighting about a million years of evolution - we are all animals at our core.

After a certain age, we women are just thrown on society's sexual trash heap. Even a good looking 50 year old woman is 50 years old. When we're young we have the world by the tail. Our looks, youth and sexuality give us power which many of us abuse or are careless with. We torture men, confirm their insecurities and pick and choose the way we see fit (often times based on superficial qualities like money or career, sadly). With men, money and power are the equivelent of our youth. As we age and loose our power, men are becoming more attractive - more mature, more successful, more handsome. The roles begin to shift. Then one day the former viixens are sitting in some bar on Working Women's Wednesday looking desperate while the men humiliate them by chasing the 30 year old.

My husband is 12 years older than me and he's extremely attractive, stii,l in his late 50s. He looks like a cross between Earnest Hemmingway and Sean Connery. His leathery, sun beaten face is actually sexy! Damnit. I'm aging. But I'm happy and if he leaves me for a 30 year old -then to hell with him.

These are not universal truths and I speak only in generalities. I have just arrived at these opinions from observing society and am well aware that I'm full of sh*t.

[anonymous]

c'mon, kat: your theories about "hard-wired," etc., are ancient clap-trap. not all men are as superficial as you insist, even in l.a. and your woman-hating is heart-breaking.

[anonymous]

SOUR GRAPES !

[kat]

Hey anonymous, did you read my post? I said I spoke in generalities only and what I think is my business. There are plenty of sensitive men out there who aren't superficial and aren't gay. I've heard about them, I had a friend once who said she heard about one. My experience is that men tend to be stimulated by more superficial things than women are. Men tend to go for physical attributes and women go for money and power Why else would a 60 year old billionaire get hooked up with a knot headed, vacuous piece of eye candy younger than his own daughter?

I've never tried to apply my reasoning to men. In my mind, in my opinion, you can't apply reason to the male member. Go ask John Edwards and Bill Clinton and those other fools.

As far as my women hating, being realistic is not woman hating. There's nothing new about aging women being marginalized. If a woman marries a man fifteen or twenty years younger than she is then one day he loses interest in her sexually then she should not be surprised. How many 50 year old prostitutes do you think rich men hire? There are plenty of men though who appreciate the maturity and attractiveness of an older women. But even then, if you're a 50 year old out there dating, you're probably sitll going to end up with someone 5 or ten years older.

As far as my theories about men being hardwired, I could definitely make my case with plenty of hard evidence. But again, for your benefit, I was speaking in generalities. There are plenty of exceptions to everything.

[kat]

P.S. . . . er. . anonymous (wonder who that is), I don't hate women, I just don't trust them. And just because I don't have on rose colored glasses about the realities of being an aging woman and society's reaction to it, doesn't mean I hate women either. My mother's a woman, so are my neices who are like daughters to me. But when it comes down to it, I feel safer in any situation, with men. That's me, it's a character flaw, I know. But I've become that way honestly. Women are great as long as you don't threaten them but if you do, buddy . . .. look out. Threatening includes everything from being skinnier than them to doing better than them at work. So I just keep to myself and keep them at arms length and they are fine.

You can't blame a person who has been bitten by a dog for being afraid of them.

It's been real "anonymous".

[robb]

there is nothing wrong with men (or women) making physical attraction a component of mate selection.There is nthing wrong with making it a relatively high priority for mate selection. It is in fact hardwired, and is the result evolutionarily selected assessment of reproductive fitness- youth, physical beuty are important measures of reproductive fitness- its part of life- aging sucks

[coolobserver]

I think Kat puts it on the mark. She has a healthy unsentimental, sharp look on things. Maybe she'll be a woman Shakespeare in the next life, if there is one. Life and reality bite beautifully hard.

[Karen]

Kat is absolutely right. She's just speaking the truth as she sees it and as most of us do if we are honest. Like she says, there are exceptions, but the "majority" of the time, it's pretty much like she stated. When I was in my 20's, I was an "exception"....I never thought twice about money or power when it came to men. Sometimes now, I wonder if I should have. I have contemplated divorce, now approaching my mid 40's, and I do realize that the available pool of men for me, should I find myself single again, will be (mainly) 10+ yrs older than me. To a woman, it seems odd really......I don't "feel" like I belong with a 55+ year old man...but the reality is that men my age, if given a choice, will generally go for women in their mid to late 30's, younger if they can. Ever look at Match.com? I checked it out once out of curiosity....I would say over 90% of the men around my age, when asked the age of the women they would prefer to meet....the age ranges they gave started at various ages, but ENDED usually about 2 years younger than they were! So, most were not willing to even consider women their OWN age. Very discouraging.

[44andsexy]

Yes, Madonna is middle-aged. Actually she's a little past middle aged technically speaking. If the average lifetime is around 78 or so, the mid-thirties begins middle aged. However, if we're speaking in the perjorative, which I believe we are - then obviously, no, she is definitely not the stereotypical middle-aged woman. I'm 44 and neither am I. If people are to be believed, I look about 35. I certainly don't conjure up the cultural view of middle aged women as wrinkly, out of shape, unnatttractive and unfashionable. But make no mistake that I am middle-aged, and whatever. This so far has been the best part of my life and I enjoy breezing through it defying stereotype. I bet Madonna does too.

[grownup]

How do I define middle-aged?
I don’t recognize it as a category. As far as I’m concerned there’s child, adolescent, adult. That’s it. Middle aged is some pejorative term some ageist bastard dreamt up to put limits on people and keep them in line. More than likely some marketer so they could create anxiety to sell more flashy cars and push HRT. Judging from this blog it seems to be working splendidly. I prefer to think of myself as an adult woman in her early forties. I am not elder and I am definitely not middle aged. I’m grown. End of story.

[Maria49]

I think youth is in your mind and it depends on how you feel about yourself inside and out. I am not a fan of Madonna, but I applaud her desire to continue to feel and look young. She has the body of a 20 year old and her skin looks good too.
I don't believe that wanting to take care of yourself and look younger is bad. It's like a car if you take care of it, it will run longer with less problems. If one chooses to be fat and look older than their age then that's their life.

Most people on this post sound a bit jealous of Madonna and do not have a good argument for what is middle age?. My doctor says age is just a number. It does not mean anything. He is 61 but you would never guess his age. How one ages has many components, lifestyle, healthy eating, exercise, genes, attitude. So...Keep trying to look younger as long as you can. I rather look younger than older.