Does facial hair distract from a fleeing hairline?

Kevin Costner--seen on the red carpet for the premiere of his new flick, "Swing Vote"-- has adopted some interesting facial hair. With the triangle shaped goatee pointing downward, the observer's eye is gently prodded south too. Perhaps to his open shirt, where even more chest hair begs for ogling? Maybe not. Costner has made great use of those honey-hued wisps that soften a hairline on the run.

Billy Bob Thornton also employed this tactic recently, with a copious tuft vomiting from his lower lip. I'm less enthralled with the overall effect. Over at GQ's  men.style.com, the style guy says: "Facial hair will undoubtedly distract the eye from your hairline."

In that case, be sure to groom accordingly.

photos: Getty Images

Come Sale Away: Chanel, Prada, Louis Vuitton

Online outlet Haute Look tempts you to take a stiletto to the piggy bank by clearing the shelves of upscale consignment shop, Decades Two. Expect current, impeccable handbags galore by Chanel, Prada, Gucci and other designers to hit the site at 8:00 a.m. on Friday morn. This $3,000 Chanel tote will sell for $2,200 and there are 249 others to be had. Last time, Haute Look and Decades Two collaborated, the loot sold out in less than an hour.

photo: Haute Couture

Elmo isn't impressed with Mariah Carey's engagement ring

Mariah Carey's "kiss my bling" stance doesn't put a smile on Elmo's face. (See left) He hates when a woman throws out her left hand and wiggles her fingers to show off a huge rock that signifies her self-worth.  (And the presumed net worth of her new husband or fiance.) Elmo is a muppet and he can't afford diamonds. Not to mention the fact that he has no pockets and can't save money.

Seriously, that showing off the ring crap needs to go. Even Mariah Carey--who could probably afford to swallow a small diamond every morning like a multi-vitamin--buys into the anti-feminist ideal that the bigger the cushion cut, the better the bride.

According to diamondmarketwatch.com, the average carat size of a diamond engagement ring is highest in California, (specificallly, the La Jolla/Del Mar areas) at 2.75 carats. In Europe, it's .30 carats.
Maybe Elmo needs to move to Berlin.

photo: Getty Images

Christian Siriano's collection hits Bluefly and parodies him too

Christian Siriano's new collection has hit Bluefly, with six looks selling on sale for anywhere between $96 to $590. The gold metallic silk shift dress ($325) is cute and flirty and I dig the epaulet-like detail at the shoulders. The sly empire waist is great design too. But the accompanying description -- "Christian says he designed this metallic mini specifically for a 'Haute' night out!" -- puts me off. Enough with the "fierce" and "hot mess" and "tranny" references.  Siriano is now parodying himself and it's about as fresh as the banana peel under my car seat.

My favorite piece is this plaid silk taffeta jacket ($480), in black and gray with a standing collar and puffed sleeves. I love the grittiness of black plaid, contrasted by the girlish elements. Wear this jacket with jeans and a white tank and primary colored pumps in red or yellow. The description reads: "Christian hopes you'll love as much as he does the boxy ruffle detail of this cropped bolero (a big Fall trend) and suggests pairing it with a long sleeve top underneath for ultimate fierce-ness."

Bluefly lists the designer as Christian V. Siriano and offers a live chat with customer service. So, I typed in a Q: "What does the initial V stand for?

I got back, from Suzanne at Bluefly: "Christian is very artistic, so it's possibly his creative flair by putting his middle initial."  Tim Gunn would say, "Stop trying to make it work so hard."

photos: Bluefly.com

Brits visit L.A. for nips and tucks, not Disneyland

Did mummy hug Mickey Mouse? Um, no. Did mummy see the Hollywood sign? Fraid not, love. Then, what was mummy doing in Los Angeles, anyway?

Well, according to one plastic surgery clinic, the Brits are coming to get face-lifts and nose jobs and hair transplants. The waning dollar and mighty euro have made the price of a Beverly Hills chin tuck more affordable.

"We have seen an influx of patients from the U.K. taking 'vacations' to Beverly Hills and coming to our office for surgery so they can have Beverly Hills doctors work on them for a lesser price because, in comparison to the dollar, the pound is booming right now," says Dr. Toby Mayer, co-director of the Beverly Hills Institute with Dr. Richard Fleming. "U.K. patients are coming to see us for multiple facial procedures, fillers and hair replacement surgery. They are taking full advantage of our weakening economy for their own cosmetic benefit."

Of course, these doctors are promoting themselves, along with their premise. Still, it makes sense that Europeans would visit the cosmetic surgery capital of America to get the Hollywood makeover. The WSJ reports that New York, California and Florida are the top destinations for Europeans seeking "work done." A July 8 article reports:

U.S. hospitals and prominent plastic surgeons have begun to tailor marketing campaigns targeted at Europeans, touting both their medical expertise as well as lower cost. Some U.S. plastic surgeons are promoting themselves through in-flight magazines read by international travelers. The New York Eye and Ear Infirmary in Manhattan, one of the U.S.'s oldest specialty hospitals, is preparing to launch a marketing campaign in London. The initiative is "capitalizing on the value of the dollar" as well as a recognition that New York is "very much a destination," says Allan Fine, a hospital vice president.

Photo: Getty Images

Natalie Portman will guest-judge on 'Project Runway'

Actress Natalie Portman will help Heidi, Michael and Nina decide who of the 15 remaining designers are "in" or "out" on Wednesday night. The theme is "green."

How to woo Portman? Here's a cheat sheet for contestants:

Favorite designers: Lanvin (she wore it throughout her stint as a judge at Cannes this year), Zac Posen, Helmut Lang.

Don't incorporate: Bacon as trim. Portman is a strict vegetarian and even has her own line of vegan shoes with the label, Te Casan. In fact, her collection is on sale right now -- including this dainty style, Perla, selling for half-off at $171.50. (Animal prints are highly discouraged too.)

Fun fact: She does a killer Lily Tomlin impression. Who knew? Um, Natalieportman.com -- natch.

photo: Valery Hache for AFP

Christian Siriano channels his inner child for 'Eloise'

Pint-sized, petulant "Project Runway" victor Christian Siriano begins his fierce Hollywood takeover with "Eloise in Paris." The designer will create a couture collection, which will be unveiled in the Paris Fashion Week scenes at the movie's finish. Uma Thurman stars, alongside Aussie newcomer Jordana Beatty as the precocious tot. And three-time Oscar-winning costume designer Milena Canonero ("A Clockwork Orange"; "Marie Antoinette") will act as visual consultant. Imdb.com reports:

"Based on the classic 1950s children's book by Kay Thompson, Eloise jets off to Paris for Fashion Week and, along with one of Europe's top designers, finds herself chasing after a stolen dress."

But WHO will play one of Europe's top designers? Please, make it Karl Lagerfeld. Who needs Eloise? Call it "The Kaiser and the Kid."

Photo: Will Raggozinno for Getty Images

Heidi and Spencer will entertain U.S. troops

Imagine the delight on the faces of troops in Iraq when Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt arrive to put on a show. One can only assume that Montag will sing and Pratt will glare at soldiers with his simultaneously vacant and menacing Svengali leer. People.com reports that the reality show duo will visit the troops in homage to Montag's stepbrother, who served as an airborne ranger before he died in an accident stateside.

Apparently, John McCain's daughter Meghan plans to help the two with their travel plans. From People:

“She’s very sweet,” Pratt told Extra. “I think Meghan McCain is helping organize Heidi and our Iraq trip. Her dad definitely has some pull with the military. I think she’s going to put that together for us.”

I love the way Pratt makes it sound like McCain's daughter is a travel agent, who will upgrade them to first class and pour the Merlot with a heavy hand in the cabin.  Oh and maybe--just maybe--Senator McCain can land them a corner bunk? People goes on to report:

Also on the horizon for the couple: a new video game, which Pratt says will be sold at Kitson. “It’s top secret,” he says. “Get ready. All your wildest dreams are going to be in it.”

It's great that Pratt manages to also insert a plug about their next money making scheme: a video game. Will they be for sale after the Iraq show too?

photo: Vince Bucci for Getty Images

Why women can't handle 'Dark Knight'

Hey, Christopher Nolan.

Ever drink a gallon of Diet Coke and sit for two hours with your legs crossed? Oh and then -- just when it seems like Gotham is safe and credits will roll -- suffer through another 32 minutes of clenching your nether region muscles?

Clearly, the director of "The Dark Knight" and the auteurs behind other interminable fan boy action movies such as "Iron Man" (126 minutes) don't know that a woman's bladder is about the size of a salted cocktail peanut. Men have bladders that are walnut-sized. And those very gals, after silently praying that the Joker will die or Batman will retire or everyone will just perish en masse and the movie will end, tend to be seated in the centers of theater rows.

Yesterday, at the two-hour mark, I watched no less than seven women get up and crab shuffle their way to the aisles to hit the loo. It was interesting to note that one woman -- like a suffragette, of sorts -- led this brigade to the bathroom. Once she stood, others followed.

But it struck me that maybe fan boys are finally getting their revenge on women who mocked them for their comic collections and Spiderman Underoos. Is this comic craze in movies just another Hollywood conspiracy against women? (But "Sex and the City" clocked in at 2 hours and 28 minutes, you protest. Yes, and many women chose to dash off when their least favorite lady hit the screen. Not to mention the fact that it was directed by a man.)

Zack Snyder, director of upcoming geek boy extravaganza "Watchmen," has told the New York Times:

"The main picture is nearing three hours long, and I know I have a fight on my hands just with that."

Um, more like a "flight" on your hands at 124 minutes, when a dozen chicks run for the aisles. How about an intermission for the geek girls?

Photo: Warner Bros.

Why do famous cheaters like Balthazar Getty think they're invisible?

Are they egomaniacs or idiots?

Every week, there's a new story about a famous husband or wife gone astray. Actor Balthazar Getty exits his family for a fling with Sienna Miller, reports People, and his wife is "humiliated." Well, of course she's humiliated. Her rejection has become headline news. Even more damning? Her husband's mistress is acting like an extra in "South Pacific." Here's a snippet from the People story:

"Miller, sporting a sailor's cap, was also spotted topless on the balcony of an Italian hotel room kissing Getty."

Topless? A sailor's cap? Come on, Sienna Miller. Could you be just tad a more discreet? What's next?  Miller, wearing a tennis dress and a diamond tiara, is spotted making out with Getty on the front lawn of the White House?

Whatever happened to the day when people hid their affairs and would sneak off to meet in supermarkets wearing sunglasses and trench coats? Remember this shot of Barbara Stanwyck -- going overboard in the incognito department -- in the 1944 classic 'Double Indemnity'? Hell, at least she tried to disguise her infidelity.

It's amazing how selfish celebrities can be, when it comes to lust or love or the limbo in between. Getty, married with four children, picked a sartorial exhibitionist and chose to flaunt their affair. Would it have killed the guy to start divorce proceedings or officially separate before he and Miller took their romance public? Or, at the very least, said to Miller: "The sailor hat is just making it worse for everyone, babe."

Photos: Sienna Miller. Credit: Getty Images; Barbara Stanwyck and Fred MacMurray in "Double Indemnity." Credit: Paramount Pictures