« May 2008 |
Main
| July 2008 »
Adam Tschorn, guest blogger, pokes some improv fun at the uncannily synchronized looks of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton:
Did you see the powder blue tie Obama wore that perfectly matched Hillary's pantsuit?
How do you think THAT conversation went? Here's two aides talking: Obama aide: "Um, senator? We have Senator Clinton on line two. Something about your color story for tomorrow. (pause) No sir. COLOR, not cover. She is suggesting something in the blues but approachable."
Clinton lackey: "Senator Clinton? I have the junior senator from Illinois on the line. He objects to baby blue because he thinks it is a subtle jab at his relative inexperience."
Obama aide: "Senator Obama? Sir. You've just received a package here from the Tie Rack. It's a tie, sir. With a note. It says, 'I hoped for a tie, but thought you'd appreciate this one."
photo: Jim Young, Reuters
 Maybe you, too, can be the man in the mirror? People reports that the King of Pop may soon be known as the Sultan of Schmata. Michael Jackson -- with his predilection for shiny, satin shirts, military jackets, and spangly silver gloves -- will design a collection. And who better to partner with Jackson than Ed Hardy mastermind Christian Audigier? L.A. boutique Kitson will exclusively carry the threads. For great sartorial homages to Jackson, check out this site, Polyvore.com.
Photo: WireImage
The price of gas alone is enough to make you bypass the boutiques and stock up on sensible staples from Trader Joe's. The Rage feels your pain. But there is hope: Sample sales. Stick with us, kid, and we'll keep you posted on the best of the bunch.
This Friday and Saturday, Geren Ford's whimsical dresses and separates sell for up to 90% off at their downtown corporate office. This black frock (pictured) is reduced to $80 from $325. Capris will go for $60, down from $244.
Where: Geren Ford, Inc. -- 453 South Spring Street, Downtown (at 5th and Spring Streets)
When: Friday, June 27th: 3:30 to 6:30; Saturday, noon to 4:00.
Bring: Cash or a credit card and a girlfriend so you can divide and conquer.
photo: Geren Ford, Inc.
 This just in: Celtics coach Doc Rivers donated his final game dress shirt to a charity auction and some poor sap bid $55,000 on it. The custom-made white ECC Life & Style cotton shirt with mother of pearl buttons was badly stained with pink Gatorade (maybe fruit punch flavor?) and also signed by Rivers and Celtics star Paul Pierce.
(Oh, and the Gatorade bucket came with it. That's probably how this guy explained his impulse purchase to his wife.)
The proceeds benefit the Boston Celtics Shamrock Foundation.
photo: Charles Krupa/AP
Today, the Mirror reports that Madonna and Guy are done as a couple -- but not yet ready to endure the onslaught that will follow an announcement. One source says that Madonna is waiting for the end of her tour in November to publicly put a pin in her relationship. "They live like brother and sister rather than husband and wife and thought it best to call it a day," the source adds.
Earlier this month, Madonna's publicist Liz Rosenberg released this statement, amid rumors of marriage troubles:
"I am delighted to confirm that Mr. and Mrs. Guy Ritchie remain happily married. Though they were in different countries recently — Madonna in the U.S. doing promotion for her upcoming album, "Hard Candy," and Guy finishing up post-production on his new film, "RocknRolla," as well as completing a Nike commercial and working on several scripts in England — the family are joyfully back together at home in London. All is well and wonderful in the Ritchie household."
(Well, neither of them look happily married in this shot from Cannes in May.)
Still, it's interesting to see how the publicity machine never breaks down. Even in reporting that the couple is well and wonderful, Rosenberg manages to plug their projects too. And while clearly it would cause press pandemonium to announce a divorce while Madonna is on tour, it must suck to prolong a painful marriage just because of the paparazzi.
On an up note, Madonna could fall in love with one of her back-up dancers again, right?
Photo: WireImage
A close friend who happens to be styling the new Abercrombie & Fitch
campaign scooped up a few pairs of Salt Water sandals for her next shoot. They're manufactured by the Hoy Shoe Company in St. Louis and guaranteed to endure the harshest of elements. Salt water, included, of course. Suri Cruise and other celeb tots have been spotted wearing these cuties, but only the coolest of adults are in the know.
The Rage adores the fact that these simple leather retro shoes sell for $34.95 -- and you get to try them for 90 days and return them for 110% of your money back if they're not the "most comfortable" pair of shoes you ever owned.
Hey Mr. Louboutin, hear that?
photos: Salt Water sandals; Fashionisspinach.com
 The Rage welcomes this dispatch from MIlan, where Adam Tschorn is covering men's fashion week:
Since this guest Rager was only a phone's throw from the runway, he's happy to report that supermodel Naomi Campbell was all smiles when she turned up unexpectedly on the Dolce & Gabbana catwalk, on the day after her much publicized sentencing on charges of air rage. We say unexpected because it is men's fashion week, after all.
The lone female in the show, the former Victoria's Secret model appeared in a black bra, a pair of boxer shorts and black and white Japanese print bath robe toward the end, while music from N.E.R.D. blared.
We wonder if it was an attempt to immediately rehab her image or whether she simply arrived in town without her luggage and decided to take a different approach.
photo: Peter Stigter.
CONFESSION: I can't stop staring at Cindy McCain's chest. It's like a Fourth of July fireworks finale with all those sparkly patriotic pins on her lapel. They seem to be breeding like wild hares in her closet too. Every time she appears at a luncheon or a rally, there's yet another crystal-encrusted brooch.
Someone must have told her about the importance of flair. Political flair.
In the cult-hit 1999 movie "Office Space," Jennifer Aniston plays an apathetic waitress at a TGI Friday's-like eatery. Her suspenders are festooned with 15 pieces of promotional "flair" -- with goofy lines like "Who wants more peanut butter cheesecake?" or "Ask me about our extra, extra cheese option."
Still, her manager wants her to up her flair ante . . . to 37 pieces. "We want you to express yourself," he says, exasperated. "Flair is about fun." (So much so that an Office Space Box of Flair -- with 15 buttons -- was released last October and sells on
Amazon.com.)
Clearly, McCain lets her lapels do the talking. She gets her flair from Ann Hand, the go-to, Washington-based jeweler known for kitting out spouses of politicos (Karl Rove's wife Darby and Colin Powell's wife, Alma) and Capitol Hill players such as Madeleine Albright.
Her best seller is the "Liberty Eagle," which Hillary Rodham Clinton famously wore on her lapel in 1998,
when she defended her husband's indiscretions on the "Today" show. The $150 gold-plated pin depicts an ornery-looking eagle perched protectively on a pearl. Betty Ford, Barbara Bush and Tipper Gore have all worn the bird, which has come to be known as the "Hillary pin."
In 2000, Cindy McCain sported the "Liberty Eagle" when her husband won the New Hampshire Republican primary and pundits wondered why she chose an accessory associated with a feisty female Democrat. The eagle pin hasn't been spotted since.
Nowadays, McCain smartly alternates between her crystal "USMC" and "NAVY" pins -- both pay tribute to her two sons' chosen military branches. There's also her "Blue Star" pin, which is traditionally worn by kin of soldiers in active duty. She sometimes sneaks this one onto the collar of a turtleneck. Then there's her blinged-out rhinestone "McCAIN 2008" flair.
"Most people wear just one," Hand says of the $45 brooches McCain favors. "But it's a very personal decision."
Apparently, it can be a difficult one too. In March, on a visit to the White House, McCain sported three pins at once. Was she excessive or indecisive? Either way, her lapel was blinding, more Lil' Kim than First Lady.
As the campaign heats up this summer, expect to see more flair. Even Barack Obama is wearing his flag pin after the McCarthy-like media melee that ensued when he decided to stop wearing one last October. (Well, in all fairness, not everyone can wear stripes.)
On Hand's website, you can see which rhinestone campaign flair is selling better. Tuesday's tally had John McCain ahead with 611 pins sold versus 162 for Obama. Will Michelle Obama break down and trade in her signature string of pearls for some "Obama 2008" flair?
In "Office Space," Aniston quits abruptly over her lack of flair and says: "I do want to express myself and I don't need 37 pieces of flair to do it." She gives her manager the bird. Um, not the eagle.
photos: Getty Images; Twentieth Century Fox; Ann Hand collection.
 Are the Olsens on the outs? Hope not, as the two are set to launch a new jewelry line with Robert Lee Morris. But an interesting post on WWD's blog revealed that the two are getting touchy about their joint identity. Accessories market editor Caroline Tell reveals in her post that the Olsen's handler asked that she not refer to them as "twins" or "sisters" during the separate interviews she conducted with each one.
Clearly, the girls are keen to distinguish themselves. At some point, they might want to check out "Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited." The story of two 35-year-old women who discover that they are twins and seek out their other half. Publisher's Weekly wrote: "Despite disparate upbringings, education and work experiences, the twins share matching wild hand gestures, allergies, speech patterns and a penchant for the same art movies."
If just one of the Olsens ditched the oversized sunglasses and sky-high platform shoes, it would do wonders for separating the two -- right?
Photos: Badgley Mischka; Amazon.com.
 Page Six is reporting that Vogue's Andre Leon Talley (left) wants to "style" Michelle Obama. Hell no! This is a man who wears fur mukaluks and turbans -- which are awesome accessories for him -- and shouldn't be meddling in a potential First Lady's closet.
Talley, you may recall, dressed actress Jennifer Hudson in that ill-fitting, petulant bolero jacket for the Oscars. (Even she later admitted that she wished she hadn't followed his sartorial suggestions.) Aside from Talley's grandiosity, it would be a misstep to have Obama forfeit her signature style. Plus, it wouldn't behoove her to be lumped in with actresses who employ high-priced stylists to create their red carpet looks.
That's not to say that all former First Ladies cultivated their own style. Jackie Kennedy enlisted Oleg Cassini to create her iconic look. In his book, "A Thousand Days of Magic: Dressing Jacqueline Kennedy for the White House," Cassini wrote: "All I remember about those days are nerves, and Jackie on the phone 'Hurry, hurry, Oleg, I've got nothing to wear.' "
I would rather not think of Michelle Obama writing panicky texts to any stylists or designers about needing the "right shoe" or a "killer bag." Her style is impeccable and clearly, she doesn't need Talley's two cents.
AN HOUR LATER: A little more digging and I found out that Michelle Obama already works with a Chicago designer named Maria Pinto. You can check out her designs here and buy her looks at Saks stores and Barneys too. This month, she will open her first retail shop in Chicago. Can't help but wonder if Obama will branch out soon. No doubt, designers have already approached. It's a smart move on her part to work with a local designer that may dress Oprah, but is not part of the crazy red carpet machine. Pinto's clothes are accessible and not outrageously priced at all. Hope she sticks with this designer to maintain a consistent look, but dabbles in Armani and Behnaz Sarafpour too.
Photos: WireImage; Fitzroy Barret/Landov
Hollywood cult favorite denim line -- J Brand -- thinks that size matters. Especially, when it comes to profits. The company announced that it will now smartly offer a fit for curvier gals with its Blue Label. Co-founder Susie Crippen tells WGSN.com , "We created Blue Label with a more generous cut around the leg, as well as a contoured waistband to hug the body's natural curves." Right now, on the J Brand website, the biggest size is a 32. (The average waist size for an American women is 36.5.)
The J Brand Blue Label will offer three styles: The Scarlett with a low-rise fit in a cigarette or boot cut, The Catherine in a mid-rise fit with a cigarette or boot cut, and The Monroe in a mid-rise that fits looser in the hips and thighs. Jeans hit Bloomingdale's exclusively in July and later roll out to other store. Expect to pay a full figure price too: $158 to $178.
photo: J Brand.
 Super model Agyness Deyn is a cocktail of Boy George, Molly Ringwald and Kurt Cobain -- shaken, not stirred -- with an Olive Oyl garnish. Who's thirsty?
And apparently, she's determined to wear every color and style of Dr. Martens boots before she retires. A quick skip over to the website reveals that they're now selling a vintage reissue of the "1914" style -- a straight up, crap-kicker that should only be worn by people who know that Joe Strummer is dead.
But look closely and you'll see that the only real difference between the "vintage" -- upper right -- and non-vintage version -- below right -- is the price hike: the vintage sells for $50 more at $170. (Go with the $120 classic "1914" style and tell your friends that it's the vintage reissue.)
But the Rage, not eager to suffer sweaty calves this summer in lace-up boots, prefers these utterly adorable wingtip brogues with a flowered accent, (below). The  "3939" sells for just $100 and will gladly accompany a pair of shorts or a miniskirt to a picnic at the Hollywood Bowl or a polo match at Will Rogers State Park. The floral feminine touch contrasts perfectly with the lug sole and sheer bulk of the shoe.
Bollocks to whoever says that punk can't be pretty too. Photos: DNA Models; Dr. Martens
 Chanel continues its quest to woo the Clearasil set. The luxury company just signed on 18-year-old Emma Watson (Hermione of the "Harry Potter" movies) as its new face of the perfume, Coco Mademoiselle. Watson replaces Keira Knightley, 23, whose contract expires this summer.
Wonder if Chanel heard the news that teen spending on fashion is down 20% this year? Ouch. Market research company Piper Jaffray reports that while adolescents devote 41% of their consumerism to fashion, it's still on the decline -- thanks to the economy. Plus, parents' annual spending on teen apparel is down to $833, compared with $1,487 in 2007.
Watson has been wearing frothy Chanel frocks to every event -- from "Harry Potter" premieres to TV appearances -- for the past year, so it's no surprise that she will front for the brand. Her two-year contract for Coco pays $6 million, so she can afford to splurge on a few Birkin bags and about 1,200 Playstations -- just like every other teen.
Will 12-year-old Abigail Breslin be the next face of Bottega Veneta?
Photo: Philippe Salaun, Emmawatsonofficial.com
 Fake a sensible life
If you danced last night away -- or downed enough martinis to drown a mongoose -- you can still fake a good night’s sleep. Actresses who party know to sweep pale pink or pearl highlighter across the brow bone just below the eyebrows. DuWops’ Browwow ($34; sephora.com) includes brow-defining powder and a creamy Champagne-hued highlighter in a nifty palette with a mirror for touch-ups. The swath of highlighter gives you an instantaneous brow lift, which distracts from dark circles and other vestiges of a misspent Saturday night.
Chic streets
Louis Vuitton take on travel -- beyond steamer trunks and luggage -- with its new Soundwalks series, downloadable audio guides to cities for MP3 players and certain cellphones. There will be one available for Beijing, just in time for the Olympics. Go to Louisvuittonsoundwalk.com to find out more. Best of all? Priced at $18 each, the Soundwalk is the only Louis Vuitton that costs less than $20.
 Crop top
Super pouter Agyness Deyn has started a hair revolution, with girls trading in their long locks for lawnmower coifs. Hilary Swank and Selma Blair have also adopted the androgynous look. Not game to go boy toy? Try one of the adorable headpieces or feather crowns by Little Doe ($25 to $450; littledoeislove.com) that she will custom design for you. These chic, dreamy accessories would be so refreshing on the red carpet -- just think about Cher's Bob Mackie headdress that she wore to the Oscars. But it will take a brave starlet to don a crown of feathers, and the Rage doesn't see anyone willing to take a fashion risk on the red carpet, alas.
“It” bag
When Drew Barrymore carries a bag around all month, it’s bound to get noticed. Her bohemian brown “Moon River” bag by Jack Rabbit ($450; thejackrabbitcollection.com) is the perfect earthy hobo bag for a refined hippie princess. The beading on the handle contrasts well with the gold accents, and imagine an "it" bag that won't rival your mortgage payment -- glorious!
 Moccasin mania
Nicole Richie, Kate Moss and Mischa Barton are all living on the fringe this season, with variations on moccasin boots. Moss likes the knee high lace up style with a black mini, while Richie prefers to pair her ankle-high boots with tiny shorts. What’s great about this trend is that the boots are amazingly comfortable and cost less than $80 at minnetonkamoccasinshop.com. Tuck them into skinny jeans too.
The BFF jeans
Whoa –- weren’t Victoria Beckham and Naomi Campbell bitter enemies at one point? (Reportedly, Campbell once said to Beckham: “So why exactly do they call you Posh?”) Well, these two are now BFFs, as Beckham has designed a pair of jeans — that cost almost $500 and sell exclusively at Harrods — named after the leggy supermodel. But when will she design some denim for Katie Holmes?
Footwear wars? 
Actresses have a fit if they wear a dress that has already been worn by another starlet. At some point, expect divas to demand an exclusive on their shoes too. Both Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan have been spotted in Balenciaga’s extremely ornate pink and white gladiator sandals; Gwyneth Paltrow and Christina Aguilera were recently spotted in Alexander McQueen’s “Languid” pumps. Oh, the agony!
Photos: Sephora.com; littledoeislove.com, Mert Alas & Marcus Piggott for DNA Models; Jack Rabbit Collection; Minnetonka; Kirk McKoy for LAT.
 What: Physicians Formula, the first cosmetics company to get certified organic by Ecocert (the European FDA, in essence), will be handing out coupons and free make up from their Organic Wear line. The products are 100% free of all those icky synthetics and parabens -- find out more at organicwearmakeup.com.
Where: The Hollywood Farmer's Market, at Ivar and Selma -- between Sunset and Hollywood Boulevards. Look for the woman wearing leaves from head to toe. Um, we're not kidding.
When: June 15, from 9:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.
Why: Why the hell not? Flirt with some farmers from up north and get some heirloom tomatoes too.
Kobe Bryant knows how to psych out the Celtics. Show up with the buffest fingernails and nary a stray cuticle in sight. Us magazine reports that the Laker had his dribbling digits and toes manicured in Boston in his hotel room between games 1 and 2. The technician says that Bryant was "really concerned about the appearance of his hands and feet." That detail tells us nothing. Did he hound her to file down the ridges? Did he request rounded or square tips? Apparently, Kobe gets mani-pedis before most games.
(In this picture, he's saying: "Watch the nails!")
But Bryant isn't the only athlete in touch with his feminine side. New York Yankee Tony Womack and David Beckham get regular nail treatments and Houston Rocket Dikembe Mutombo even co-owns the Nseya Salon & Spa in Atlanta.
The Rage would love to see a French manicure on Bryant.
photo: Los Angeles Times.
The trend: Men asking women out on dates via text. According to a study by the Mobile Marketing Association, 44% of 13 to 34 year-olds use SMSing to flirt or date. A friend tells the Rage that guys never ask her out anymore--and this pal ain't 16 years old either. Apparently, dudes now avoid any iota of rejection and besides, it's easier to send a message like "Wanna have dinner on Fri at 8?" than pick up the darn phone.
The upside for men: There's no worry that a woman will cackle and shriek "Are you out of your freaking mind, geekwad?" or just "ummmmmm" in that awkward way that, in essence, means: no.
The downside for women: If a guy doesn't have enough Tabasco sauce in his blood to ask you out to a movie or coffee, he'll probably never muster up the gusto to propose--or even get to second base. Or, he's just a cad who can't be bothered to invest the time or energy to dial digits. Either way, this phenom only bodes well for the ever increasing divorce rate. The study also revealed that 10% of men (and women) have texted to break up. (In April, Carrie Underwood and Chace Crawford broke up via text.)
photo: BBC.
"Honey, I'm home" has a whole new meaning. According to the Forbes "Celebrity
100" -- yet another fluffy list to generate press for the mag -- Angelina Jolie ranks #3 in power, while beau Brad Pitt trails at #10. (The ranking is based on income and popularity, so Forbes tabulates Google metrics and media mentions to determine who's the boss. Brad pulled in $20 million, but Angelina banked just $14 million.) Also, Beyonce Knowles bested her husband Jay-Z -- she comes in at #4 and he's #7 on the list. But a single woman -- that would be Oprah, of course -- tops the chart.
photo: Jeff Kravitz/Film Magic
 Not sure about this revamp. It's hard to accept any tinkering with nostalgia. But then again, the new Strawberry Shortcake does look better with a blowout and shoes that don't resemble potatoes. That frilly pinafore and bloomers only added bulk too.
The NYT has the full story, including the ridiculous term "fruit-foward" for her new look. The new SS has a cellphone, and she's ditched her cat Custard too. Just please don't let her land a reality show and make a sex tape.
Photos: TCFC
 What happens when a purse gets primo exposure in a movie such as "Sex and the City"? It gets uppity in price. Last September, the Rage posted here about the first glimpse of Sarah Jessica Parker's look in the movie. (Pictures were released by New Line.) At that time, the Eiffel Tower bag by local designer Timmy Woods sold for $338, and her Horsy bag sold for $350. Now, the Parisian monument bag sells for $450. What gives? The designer responded to an inquiry by saying: "All of my prices have gone up because everything costs more. I didn't raise the price on the Eiffel Tower bag because it was in the movie." Hmm. The price of the Horsy bag didn't go up, suspiciously. Timmy Woods has sold 1,500 of the Eiffels since the movie debuted. You should have bought yours when I first posted about it.
Photos: New Line; Timmywoods.com.
Never underestimate the organizing power of anything that will gladly accept your discards at the end of a long day. Remember the montage scene in "The Devil Wears Prada" in which Miranda hurls her coats and bags on the desk every morning? Well, that scene wouldn't work at all if there had been a lovely white or orange coat rack ($68 at urbanoutfitters.com). But this vintage-inspired dandy, made of sturdy iron, will make your home life a lot less cluttered.
 Costume designer Patricia Field -- with her Madonna-like diction and Twizzler-hued hair -- did not rock the vote for former presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton Monday night. During a Q&A at LACMA, she mightily dissed Clinton's style (pant suits, pant suits and more pant suits) and noted that she would expect more "glamour" from a U.S. president. The audience, mostly very stylish 50-plus women, tittered. When asked when she started dying her hair that signature strawberry hue, Field retorted, "When I went gray."
Photo: Carolyn Cole/Los Angeles Times
 What: A conversation with "Sex and the City" costume designer Patricia Field, sponsored by the Costume Council at LACMA. Hear all the behind-the-scenes SATC gossip from the woman who put the Manolos on Carrie. Field, who also costumed "The Devil Wears Prada," will be interviewed by LAT fashion critic Booth Moore.
Where & when: Tonight, June 9 at 7 p.m. at the Bing Theater. Tickets cost $40 in advance; $50 at the door.
Why: In addition to the discussion, there will be a cocktail reception afterward and God help LACMA if they don't serve cosmos.
For more info, click here.
The Rage welcomes a news dispatch from colleague and Image staff writer, Adam Tschorn:
When Game 1 of the NBA Finals gets underway in Boston tonight, the big question will be: how high can Kobe go? Not just in points scored or assists, or any other on-court statistic, but in dollars — as in  how many greenbacks will it take to buy the purple No. 24 road jersey right off his back?
The man who nicknamed himself the "Black Mamba" could probably keep the merchandising arm of the NBA in the black all by himself, earlier this year — long before he was crowned league MVP — his jersey was the second-bestselling in the NBA (ironically, bumped from number one by the Celtics’ Kevin Garnett) and second-best in the last decade (behind Michael Jordan).
Which should make watching the NBA.com auctions website (auctions.nba.com) tonight almost as much fun as watching the game itself, since the NBA announced yesterday that, as of tip-off, actual game-worn jerseys from active players on both teams will be up for bid.
To find out exactly how this works, we called Barry Meisel, president of the MeiGray Group in New Jersey, the company overseeing the auction. While Meisel enthusiastically prattled on about security tags they’ve sewn into the jerseys for authentication purposes, and the post-game chain of custody, our concerns were a bit more pragmatic. Like, are these jerseys washed before being shipped to the winners or are lucky Laker fans likely to end up with a malodorous Odom, a grungy Gasol or a wilted Walton? And isn’t there something creepy and downright unhygienic about buying somebody else’s gym clothes –- no matter how famous they are?
"In most case the jerseys are washed after a game," Meisel said by phone. "If the timing of an auction is so tight that we don’t have time to launder the item, we’ll at least run it under cold water to make it a little more, you know, palatable." Meisel said that his company will take possession of the Laker (road) and Celtic (home) uniforms after tonight’s game and they will be laundered and securely stored until the auction ends on June 24.
Meisel declined to offer how much Bryant’s jersey might fetch, but compared it to LeBron James’ Game 3t jersey from last year’s NBA finals, which sold for $25,540. "And we expect Kobe’s to go for much more than that," he said. Since a gold home jersey worn by Bryant during one of the several "Hardwood Classics" nights this season is currently bid up to $6,001 at auctions.nba.com, bidding for tonight’s Kobe-wear is sure to put a strain on the wallet, but that will probably pale compared with the price when the Lakers return to Staples for Game 3 and their home jerseys hit the auction block. If the home team is just a few wins out, the MVP’s gold No. 24 jersey might as well be 24-karat gold.
-- Adam Tschorn
In one corner, you have the iconic orange boxes and ubiquitous Birkin bags of Hermes. Across the ring is the subtle, but unmistakable signature weave of a Bottega
Veneta bag. Which label will take the title? The Luxury Institute in New York reports that really really rich women prefer Bottega over Hermes because the line is: "very upscale and sleek looking", "lasts forever and is timeless", and "is very well made." Maybe the Birkin took an image beating after being spotted on the arm of every actress and its bit part in "Gossip Girl"?
Sofia Coppola on her style and Louis Vuitton in the London Times: "Now it's all pretty pared down. Obviously I love Marc Jacobs and Acne jeans which I wear all the time. Today I'm wearing a little knitted dress from See by Chloé, flat wedges from Louboutin. Really I should be wearing Vuitton, but I'm actually not that into status, although I have a little LV duffle bag that I travel with.
(Coppola and her father posed for LV's latest ad campaign, so it would be nice if she plugged the clothes a bit more. Then again, it's nice that she's honest.) 
How much would stay at home Moms make if they were paid? According to a study by Salary.com, her
annual take for changing diapers, cleaning up spills, piloting the family wagon and breaking down after little Billy swallows another Scrabble tile would be $116, 805. The research also revealed that stay at home Moms work an average of 94 hours per week, versus the 54 hours that working women put in.
photos: Wire Image; Jill Greenberg.
Who gives a fig about Mr. Big? Hopefully, Carrie and her crew can convince male Hollywood execs that women dig movies about...women. Not robots that turn into trucks or pallid awkward men that transform into gigantic, angry green men or older dudes who wear floppy hats and chase down elusive treasures. Nikki Finke, over at Deadline Hollywood, reports that Warner Brothers' "Spring Breakdown"--starring Parker Posey, Amy Poehler, and Rachel Dratch--is going straight to DVD because the studio can't market to women.
Shame.
The Rage would rather watch Poehler and Parker chug Jagermeister than see Carrie and Charlotte sip cosmos.
photo: Warner Brothers.
"Stop looking down at your feet and stare straight ahead," says Queen Jazzmun, as I skitter across the hardwood floor in 6-inch Barbara Bui platforms like a newborn giraffe. "The heels are the mistress, and you are the slave. Submit."
But who's going to submit my health insurance forms when I am laid up at Cedars, I wonder, during a Sunday afternoon primer on how to walk in high heels. The private instruction came about because Jazzmun -- a transvestite performer and actor/actress -- had recently taught 18 women how to glide atop designer stilts at a course offered by shoe boutique Il Primo Passo in Santa Monica. Owner Beth Whiffen expects to hold another one in a month.
"Women would come in and ask, 'How do I walk in these heels?' " says Whiffen, pointing to a delicate pair of 5-inch satin Christian Lacroix sandals and gold Giuseppe Zanotti wedges that will add a half-foot to your view. "But the trend in the covered platform makes the shoes look even higher than they really are."
Blame Gwyneth Paltrow for further igniting the craze. Recently, the mother of two has been mincing about in stiletto heels that would alarm every TSA agent at LAX. The 7-inch Zanottis she donned for a red carpet in Rome could double as shish kebab skewers. The 6-inch Alexander McQueen Languid pumps she wore in London last month, while promoting "Iron Man," caused a stampede to Selfridges, where the $650 shoes sold out.
"You have to know your limitations in these shoes," says Jazzmun, pivoting as gracefully as Alexander Godunov in 6-inch patent leather Buis. Jazzmun also recommends that you practice walking around the house before you test-pilot ultra-high heels. "If you're walking on a lot of concrete, you need to carry an extra pair of slip-ons."
So true. Even Paltrow doesn't tackle asphalt city streets in heels. Last month in New York, she was spotted in Nike sneakers en route to her David Letterman appearance and wore sky-high Christian Louboutins on-air. I bet she took less than 100 steps in her stilettos.
No doubt, she understands the health risks associated with walking tall. The Mayo Clinic reports that joint pain, nerve tissue growth and stress fractures await high heel addicts. There's even a deformity known as "pump bump" that is, in essence, a growth on the back of the heel caused by straps and the backs of certain stilettos. (Mayo podiatrists advise women to opt for a heel that doesn't exceed an inch and one-half. Tell that to Carrie Bradshaw, doc.)
After just 20 minutes of gentle but firm instruction, Jazzmun has me swanning like a tipsy debutante in my platforms. I could never kick as high as Jean-Claude Van Damme, but my calves aren't throbbing like a neon sign anymore. Jazzmun's tutelage is more about empowerment than step-by-step instruction. You learn to fix your gaze on a point on the horizon to steady your balance and to thrust out your hip to ensure that you look sexy and confident. Oh, and be sure to distribute your weight equally on the toe and heel or you'll fall forward or backward a la Charlie Chaplin. "After some Champagne, you will be twirling," Jazzmun says.
Later, I read online that a Swedish scientist has linked wearing high heels with schizophrenia. He claims that high heels cause us to tense our calves in a way that hampers the release of dopamine, which is essential to mental well-being. Hmm. I click my 6-inch heels and laugh like crazy.
Photo: Elisabetta Villa/Getty Images.
The iconic designer Yves Saint Laurent died this past weekend at the age of 71. His business and personal partner Pierre Berge summed up Saint Laurent's impact quite eloquently: "He was a libertarian, an anarchist and he threw bombs at the legs of society. That's how he transformed society and that's how he transformed women." (How awesome is that eulogy?) Check out this charming 1962 video of his fashion show in Paris, which was a make-or-break event for his house. For fashion purists, there is some wonderful discussion about copying designs and the importance of haute couture.
In the film "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants," a group of friends share a pair of well-worn jeans. In the realm of Hollywood celebrity, such a thing could never happen. Why? Because actresses don't like to share or be upstaged. Cathy Horyn, on her NYT "On the Runway" blog, wrote yesterday about how Sarah Jessica Parker feels duped for being loaned a dress that had been spotted on Lindsay Lohan and a socialite. (See bottom right photo of Lauren Santo Domingo at recent Met ball.) Parker notes that the house's designer, Olivier Theyskens, explicitly told her that the dress would be making its debut at the "Sex and the City" premiere in NY -- on her sculpted back, (see right).
Parker told Horyn: “In the big picture, this is not important, but there is a relationship between the entertainment industry and fashion. We’ve watched sales dwindle and we’ve watched people be less inclined to spend money on clothes.”
The Rage loves the passive-aggressive threat appliqued to Parker's statement. Yes, it was unfair of Theyskens and the house to deceive her, but wasn't this a loan? For the record, the president of the parent company of Nina Ricci explained that they didn't perceive a dress worn publicly by a socialite as competition. That's an excuse as slippery as wet marble stairs.
Still, notice that Parker alludes to the "relationship" between designers and actresses, which, in essence, is: Give me free clothes to wear on the red carpet. (Of course, certain actresses have contracts with designers and wear their looks exclusively or money gets exchanged to ensure that a label is worn on a big night.) Parker's comment about dwindling sales seems to suggest that only red carpet exposure will save a label. Um, do you really think SATC fans ran out to buy this silver gown after seeing it at the premiere?
The Rage has always liked Parker and appreciated her down-to-earth sentiments about celebrity and fashion, but this whole brouhaha is giving her hives. Why can't Parker tsk tsk the house, but also acknowledge that in this economy, a $10,000 gown merits more than one wearing. What's so dreadful about wearing a dress that someone else has donned for 5 hours?
Imagine how refreshing -- and sensible -- it would be if there were a sisterhood of the traveling red carpet gown?
Photos: WireImage; PatrickMcMullan.com
 WHAT: Why is it that mascara -- much like high school boyfriends -- always disappoints? The patented formulas deliver joy and perfection for the first few applications and then, they begin to clump and smudge. The Rage, ever in search of the holy grail of mascara, test-wore MAC Mascara X.
HOW: Available in black or dark brown, this smooth operator goes on glossy and doesn't gunk. The football-shaped brush makes it easy to reach pesky inner and outer corner lashes too. It contains a vegetable- derived protein to help strengthen lashes. As for performance, the mascara stayed on and didn't fleck or run, even when the Rage went for a 5-mile jog with tricked-out lashes.
VERDICT: Strong buy. Those long, full lashes might even make you forget about that loser who snubbed you at the junior prom. $12.50; maccosmetics.com.
Photo credits: Bambi from Walt Disney Studios; Mascara, MAC; Twiggy, Bettmann/Corbis
|
|
Adam Tschorn, guest blogger, pokes some improv fun at the uncannily synchronized looks of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton: 
Subscribe to this Blog What is RSS?