Must have: Grateful Dead & gladiator sandals

Listening to: The Grateful Dead's "American Beauty"--1970. Try playing "Box of Rain" when you're feeling grumpy. It's audio prozac.

Perfect for: Cleaning the house and organizing impertinent kitchen drawers and marinating ahi tuna steaks in lime, ginger and sesame oil.

Inspired to buy: These groovy, beaded gladiator sandals by Jeffrey Campbell, $88 at urbanoutfitters.com.  Who can resist an Irish-Navajo hippie girl who serves seared tuna and Pinot Grigio at sunset?

photos: Jim Marshall for Rolling Stone; Urbanoutfitters.com.

Posh Pinot Noir? Designer wine is the new designer denim

When Victoria Beckham received just a cake and a few lavish dinners for her recent birthday, who didn't think she deserved more? Well, her husband David, apparently. The soccer star has purchased a Napa Valley winery for the perpetually pouting pin-up and deemed it "Chateau Posh." Look out, Chateau Lafitte! The wine will not be available to us -- just reserved for the Becks and their pals like Tom and Katie.

Thirsty? Try Roberto Cavalli's red wine blend, which Wine Spectator described as "Very ripe with exotic fruit character and coffee, dark chocolate undertones." It's a partnership with his son Tommaso and from the looks of the leopard-print case and goblets, it should come with a waterbed and edible panties too.

Photos: Roberto Cavalli

Britney Spears not fit for court. Shopping and partying are OK

How is it that Britney Spears can't muster up the sanity to appear in probate court, but she can guest-star on TV shows and shop and party? (There has also been talk lately of Spears taking the role of Sandy in Broadway's "Grease.") Her attorneys said that it could be "harmful" for her to participate in proceedings because her treatment is "fluid." Um, yeah. Court sucks.

Here's Spears at a birthday party last week in Los Angeles. Hmm. The Rage can't serve jury duty because it could be "damaging" and besides, there's a sale at Saks.

Photo: Todd Williamson, WireImage

Am I the only woman who doesn't care about Carrie Bradshaw?

Back in grammar school, the Rage had no interest in being a cheerleader. It looked really exhausting and irrelevant and besides, she could only master a slanted cartwheel. Often, she seemed like the only one who didn't yearn to put on a polyester pleated miniskirt and shout, "Go team!" Lately, this whole "Sex and the City" tsunami has her feeling the same way.

Am I the only woman who doesn't care about Carrie Bradshaw?

Around the office, women and men approach and say, "Have you seen it yet? "You must be so excited for the clothes!" (Makes sense, as style is my beat.) Still, I shrug and shake my head. "Not yet. Not sure when I will see it." The response to my utter ambivalence about the Manolos and the cosmos is typically met with suspicion. Their looks seem to say: "What woman isn't dying to see Carrie and the girls again?" or "Are you, like, a dude or what?"

Look, I love fashion for all its foppery and foibles. I also prize my female friendships more than Pinot Noir and cheese plates and puppy dogs. But frankly, I could give a flying Choo about these four women. And somehow, in a bizarre backward step for womankind, they have come to represent gender pride to such a degree that I am questioning my X chromosomes.

The crossover marketing has been relentless: "Are you a Miranda or a Samantha, when it comes to your lingerie? " Um, I sometimes fall asleep in my clothes. And shoes. "Win a chance to nab Carrie Bradshaw's wardrobe!" My closet is too disorganized for all those shoes and dresses. "Should Big marry Carrie?" Only if he doesn't mind sharing a bed with Matthew Broderick. Oh, and I loathe martinis polluted with fruit juice. Give me a straight up, extra-dirty vodka marti or an empty glass.

Newspapers and the blogosphere have been drawing lines between the sexes with this movie too. One online headline read: "Sex and the City: Why women love it and men love to hate it." Guess what? This woman doesn't love it or hate it or even think twice about it.

Anyone else feeling ostracized for her anti-Carrie stance? Care to join me in a slanted cartwheel?

Photo: New Line/Warner Brothers

Dior says sorry that Sharon Stone is a lunatic

When Sharon Stone commented to a Hong Kong TV channel at Cannes that the earthquake in China was some sort of karmic retribution for the country's policy on Tibet, you could feel the tremors at Dior headquarters. Stone had just said that a possible death toll of 70,000 people could be chalked up to bad vibes, in essence. In the Financial Times, Dior said this: "We absolutely disagree with her hasty comments and we are also deeply sorry about them ... We will never support any opinion that hurts the feeling of the Chinese people."

Clearly, Stone isn't paid by the fashion house to double as a spiritual or political pundit. She's paid to wear the makeup, wear the watches and look pretty. Mouth shut. But celebrities and models are human and often, their rants and escapades (Kate Moss) can affect a company's image. After Moss was caught on film flirting madly with a pile of cocaine, cosmetics giant Rimmel kept her on as its face -- as did Burberry -- and it didn't dent sales. But Moss wasn't hurting anyone but herself -- and whomever went in on the coke, which she was hogging.

But when an actress makes a statement so silly -- as a crisis continues to unfold and paralyze an entire country -- she doesn't deserve to be a "brand ambassador" for any company. Isn't it ironic that Stone is considered a brand ambassador for Dior when she could probably start a few wars in a matter of moments, if given the chance to mouth off.

Stone apologized and Dior has dropped her ads from running in China, but shouldn't they dismiss her for making such a thoughtless comment?

Photo: Christian Dior

New York Times upchucks on L.A. fashion

Yes, the Rage is getting overly dramatic here and generalizing about the bias of an entire paper when just one blogger loathes our fashion. Here is precisely what reporter Elizabeth Spiridakis had to say on the NYT's The Moment blog: "The ‘L.A. Look’ needs to go away forever, please. If they banned fedoras, tacky sunglasses, blazers over T-shirts, leggings and Kitson, Los Angeles would become a nudist colony."

Apparently, Spiridakis doubles as a myopic seer and a blogger. Too bad she can't see beyond the tabloids and pins her appraisal of the city's sartorial aesthetic on a shot of Paris Hilton. Everyone knows that Kitson has become the "it" store for Midwestern tourists -- not natives -- and fedoras trump headbands (the New York equiv) for daring and dash. Tacky sunglasses? Right on. The Gray Lady might be more upbeat with a few blond highlights.

photo: from "The Driver's Seat," IMD Films.

Rachael Ray is a fashion terrorist?

It's a slow news day indeed when the conservatives attack Rachael Ray for wearing a kaffiyeh-style scarf in a Dunkin' Donuts ad.

Even more disquieting is the fact that Dunkin' Donuts quickly yanked the ad. Boston.com reports the controversy -- including Fox News commentator Michelle Malkin, who spewed: "The kaffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad."

Um, for Malkin -- who is beyond clueless -- the kaffiyeh has been worn by many a Parisian grad student and dozens of celebrities -- including Colin Farrell, David Beckham (above),  Kirsten Dunst and both Olsen twins.

The scarf even showed up on the Balenciaga runway (right) and later sold for more than $1,000. That doesn't strip the scarf of its political origins, but it shouldn't be deemed a symbol of jihad fever either. Guess the Rage had better retire her khaki "Castro" cap before some silly right-winger calls her a "fashion don't" and a "commie."

photos: Rachael Ray, courtesy of Dunkin' Donuts; Beckham, Getty Images; Balenciaga, Chris Moore, Getty Images.

Come sale away: Chloe slingbacks at 30% off

WHY BUY: This Chloe sandal is like a shot of Tabasco sauce for any outfit, especially a little black shift or a flouncy white dress for summer. Or wear them with a pair of black dressy shorts, a fitted Sonic Youth tee and an accent necklace.

LIFE SPAN: The scarlet patent leather, paired with a snakeskin panel and an architectural heel, will make this shoe age as gracefully as Sophia Loren.  If you take care of these sandals, they will gladly saunter with you into the next few seasons without looking like yesterday's fashion news.

ORDER NOW: There are limited sizes left, selling for $416 (down from $595) on Net-a-porter.com.

photo: Net-a-porter.com.

Too much metallic at N.Y. premiere of 'Sex and the City'

Finally, after a nauseating amount of press that might have had you wishing you were born a dude and could avoid the hype... "Sex and the City" premiered last night in New York and the four ladies look, well, over it. (And really shiny.) Who can blame them? Cynthia Nixon -- who comes across softer and decidedly less lawyerly with a cascade of butterscotch curls -- wore a simple, old-Hollywood style Narciso Rodriguez and her expression says, "Mom, are we there yet?"

Sarah Jessica Parker, who the Rage has adored exponentially ever since her turn as a gal geek on "Square Pegs," opted for a princess-y platinum Nina Ricci gown and a boatload of jewels by Fred Leighton. (BTW, metallics can look too reflective on more than a dozen pleats. A softer pastel would have suited her better.)

Kristin Davis, too, chose a dress that shimmered like coins in a fountain. Her gold Donna Karan shone with soft folds at the shoulders and a cinched waist. It's more flattering than Parker's dress because of the color and feminine draping.

For Kim Cattrall, a green metallic Vivienne Westwood did the trick. Great dress: sexy, adult and unique. But again, what's with all the metallic? The Rage wonders if the foursome have stopped talking -- why else would they all wear the same hue? Oh, maybe because it's the color of money. And with all the endorsements going on, this project has often become about the couture and the ka-ching.

Lastly, let's hear it for Patricia Field -- who actually looks like she is having a ball. Maybe it's because the hoo-ha is finally over? Field, the costumer and designer who was originally credited as the sartorial Svengali of Carrie Bradshaw, has barely made a peep during this movie. (Rumor has it that Parker eclipsed Field because she wants to solely take credit for all fashion decisions. She does have a clothing line, remember.)  Field has her own brand and  partnership with Barbie.  Her kooky purple minidress feels more like a Carrie Bradshaw 11th hour pick than Parker's Ricci dress, which is more suited to a socialite. Somebody, give Field a Cosmo quick.

photo credit: Kevin Mazur/ Wire Image

LL Cool J has designs on your daughter

What does a suave 40-year-old rapper know about the juniors market? Ask Sears, which just announced in WWD that LL Cool J will be designing a line of casual clothes for young boys and girls. The hip-hop vet and actor happens to have three daughters and hence, he thinks that he knows what a girl wants. He told WWD: "My main concern with juniors is to make sure the fit is right. The fabrics have to feel nice on a woman's body, but sizing and fit are very important. I know that if she comes in, puts it on and it doesn't fit, she won't come back. Clothes have to make a woman feel good, relaxed and sexy. We are going to be constantly looking at fine-tuning the fit and we'll get it right." (This shot of him in beret -- his trademark -- and pocket square shows that he has some unique sartorial style, thankfully.)

But, um, what's all this talk about "women" and "sexy," LL? These clothes are for tweens and teens, not those ladies you rap about.

Photo credit: Steve Granitz/Wire Image