Exclusive: Vatican's five fashion sins
1. Thou shalt not wear gold lame short-shorts--a.k.a Satan panties--from American Apparel unless thou art a tart.
2. Thou shalt not fight over the straightening iron. In fact, thou shalt confer over which thou will be going out with flat hair, which, incidentally, looks extremely fussy and fey on a dude.
4. Thou shalt never ever ever wear a boa. Ever.
5. Thou shalt not dress like a naughty Catholic school girl gone teen runaway meets a Vegas stripper when thou art, like, 30-plus. The Pope really hates that look.
photos: AmericanApparel.com; Getty Images.