V-Day by the dollars: Men? You get hosed.

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Ah, isn’t love grand? In this world of unending ladies room bathroom lines and overpriced shoes, the Rage immensely appreciates that men spend twice as much as ladies on Valentine’s Day. Sure, it’s not fair and we women want our equality. But in this instance, we’ll take off our sensible, feminist shoes and do a barefoot jig. According to the National Retail Federation, the average male drops about $135 on V-Day, while women spend about $68.

Where does the money go? Here’s the breakdown:

62% purchase one greeting card. And that will buy you exactly one kiss on the cheek .

47.1% purchase candy. Expect tongue if truffles are involved.

42.1% blow the bank on an evening out. If the Champagne flows, you may get lucky.

But wait. There’s even more evidence that the onus of Valentine’s Day falls entirely on dudes. The Society of American Florists reports that of the 180 million roses sold, 74% are bought by men. Jewelry is bought by 22.5% of men and just 7.3% of women. Twice as many women than men plan to buy clothes as pesents. And that means men can expect button down shirts and ties.

But here are the best results ever. What do men want? According to a survey by BizRate Research, dudes are begging for:

54%: Romantic dinner -- 14%: Tools -- 14%: Massage/Spa treatment -- 4%: Day with buddies -- 3%: Hunting trip. (Who wouldn’t want to slay deer on Valentine’s Day? That’s brilliant.)

Women want:

60%: Card -- 58%: Romantic dinner -- 51%: Flowers -- 40%: Jewelry -- 25%: Massage/Spa treatment.

How much are you spending today? Should women spend as much as men? Does Valentine’s Day just suck all around?

photo credits: Elephants and candies, photo stock; Hepburn and Tracy, AP; Deer Hunter; Paramount.