Lindsay Lohan: You're no Marilyn Monroe

Why do starlets insist on channeling Marilyn Monroe? At some point, every actress decides to have her "Marilyn moment" and dons a platinum wig and a fake mole to prove that  she's capable of playing an American icon. This week, Lindsay Lohan graces New York magazine in a spread shot by Bert Stern. Yes, that would be the same Stern who shot Monroe six weeks before she died of a reported overdose in 1962.

In the story, Lohan says of Monroe and Heath Ledger's tragic outcome:  "I sure as hell wouldn't let it happen to me." Then, why are you bouncing in and out of rehab and re-creating a photo shoot that precisely mimics a suicidal woman's last flirtation with fame? And Stern should be ashamed of himself for aping such a memorable photo shoot for a 21-year-old actress whose most notable credit is "Herbie Fully Loaded." Monroe -- who starred in fantastic movies like "The Misfits" and "Some Like It Hot" -- died of acute barbiturate poisoning at age 36.

Lohan joins the ranks of Monroe-philes like Mischa Barton (right), Scarlett Johansson and Drew Barrymore (above, on George cover.) It may be flattering to the icon, but The Rage finds it rather sad that so many young actresses crib Monroe instead of inventing their own unique images.  If you're devoid of charisma and innate sexual appeal, maybe it's time to try beekeeping.

Photos credits: New York magazine; French Vogue; Bert Stern collection

Comments

[james s. gagliardi]

Yeesh. What a bunch of silly nannies. I don't understand all the complaints. Lindsay Lohan is a beautiful woman. We all know she is not Marilyn Monroe. Then again, she never claimed/claims that she is. Appearing in a photo shoot in poses similar to M.M. is not a bad thing for Lohan to do. Some of you fellas need to, like, step away from the keyboard...

[bob'syeruncle]

obviously, Maxime has never seen a Marilyn Monroe movie.

Educate yourself--and learn how to write proper English.

[EDDIE]

I think this was done rather tastefully. This is a tribute piece. Tributing is rare in Hollywood, an overlooked artform. The last Hollywood tribute I can think of is the shot-by-shot remake of "Psycho".
There is a difference between reviving a piece to pay tribute to the original and remaking a piece thinking you can do better than the original.
As far as Lindsey goes, good for her to choose to expose her body in a true art form rather than in some porn rag or some lousy teen movie. She is a very beautiful girl and a talented actress. I hope she realizes her full potential and takes more complex roles that challenge her.

[frank1569]

Memo to LL:

Your movie career is five minutes away from over.

Seriously - it's pilot season. Find yourself a sitcom fast.

[Bruce]

At about ten years Marilyn's junior Lohan looks way more fried and depleted than the older, more depressed Monroe. And my God, the wig is horrific. I love Mr. Stern's work, but this is just embarrassing, and an absurd caricature of an important and beautiful historical photo shoot. The original shots strongly evoke sad beauty and impending tragedy. This shoot evokes ridicule and nausea.

[Olddog]

I've seen the photos in question and she really does look like Marilyn Monroe in a few of them. She is an individual though, with her own look, and it ain't so bad either.
You people rag her all you want to,...at least she's working, doing movies, and you're on your ass ragging somebody you don't even know like you understand her. What a joke!
She'll gain experience and someday be a good actress or maybe not,.....but you'll still be on your asses ragging,.....

[Superpower]

Well, at the least Monroe had a shape to her body, (i.e. hips). Lohan looks like a spent piece of jet-trash. This is a sad expose' that looks to be disturbing -think Norma Desmond as Marilyn Monroe. Lohan looks 10 year Marilyn’s senior in this photo shoot, the B&W enhancement did nothing but show her excelled premature aging process. Is there anything original in Hollywood anymore? Remake this, remake that, it seems as if Tinseltown is stuck in the amber of the past like a dinosaur...at least the dinosaurs knew when to call it quits.

[Not a Republocrat]

I find it amusing that no one has pointed out that, in today's appearance-obsessed market, Monroe would probably never have been given a chance at movies, because, at size 12, she would have been considered "too fat" to play leading roles by today's standards - yet, despite these superficial standards, she continues to be upheld as an icon of feminine beauty. By contrast, the trendily thin Lohan can only provide a pathetic parody of Monroe in these photos. Ugh.

[Faith]

Monroe was just as scandalous as Spears, Hilton, Lohan...it was just a different era -(little more tasteful one.) It's funny I really can't figure out the point of this article...really. These girls do it for (attention + money) duh. No different than the people writing/ talking publicly about it trying to get them selves attention too. LOL But seriously, if this Monica woman doesn't understand why- maybe she should be writing about bee keeping.

[Keeping Track Of Time]

Listen up: The Los Angeles Times is really THE LAST source of information which should mock Lindsay Lohan.
This 'leading paper' was presenting the world a washed up wannabe singer from Canada (Sherrie Leir Laid--I call her Sherry Late), who was at the time 43, had Botox all over her face and made a book deal with a crazy wannabe 'Professor' (Finkelstein) That woman was introduced to us as "Marilyn Monroe Reincarnation" by staff writer Robert W. Welkos, who has really proven that he should forever talk about the LA traffic situation instead Marilyn Monroe!

I think Lindsay is by far a way better 'Marilyn' than just two weeks ago Nicole Kidman tried herself as Hollywood's leading legend (besides being the most beautiful).

So what do you want, LA Times? Don't print every crap on Marilyn, please. You screwed up big time when you gave this broke down John Miner a stage and were jumping at the 'Marilyn was murdered' nonsense. We have seen stars dying the Marilyn way - very recently.
Remember Anna Nicole Smith and do you not remember Heath Ledger?
What is it, people? Read an obituary of Lindsay Lohan, next?
She is trying and she is cute.
She is no Marilyn, but simply because there can only be one Marilyn.
Period.
I am sure that the LA Times has prepared already an obituary of Britney, and of Lindsay, too.
Sick.

[g. mulleer]

Imagine if every new, young male actor did a photo shoot in which he imitated James Dean. The first two might get away with it, but I'd think from that point on, the guys would start getting a little embarrassed and request something else.

[slylon]

big damn deal...Mafia Meat Monroe, Freckles Lohan, Slippery Spears, Pimples Simple-son, HiltonHo, they're ALL merchandise to agents and producers and other non-creative richies....REAL entertainment now belongs to the people via the youtube revolution, and it scares them shitless! They just might see the writing on the wall that there are more talented people are out there who are real people! Posing nude is all this bunch of jizzbags have left. And I think that's great.

[Angry Photographer]

Bert Stern Shame On YOU!

This is sick, because that old geezer Stern is screwing up his own legacy and Marilyn's too.
When Marilyn crossed out several images which she did not want to be PUBLISHED, he would use those canceled images and publish them in his book.
He is that greedy and stupid.
What you are witnessing is not the stupidity of a young Hollywood actress (Lindsay Lohan) who is doing a good job as Marilyn, but rather more a self debunking of a photographer who has been cashing in on Marilyn ever since he took her pictures.
He's been touring with her images around the world for many years, and he is selling those images for outrageous amounts.
Those buyers must feel really angry.
Bert Stern, is he getting senile after all?

[Womanfan]

Come on people!!! Seriously, watch any old movie with Marilyn in it. She was not a "good" actress, she was just easy on the eyes. She isn't even really that "hot" by todays standards. She was popular because she was pretty/sexy COMPARED to just the few other actresses there were. Now her estate makes sure she stays popular. She did drugs, slept around..just like the girls today who are copying her but they have MUCH MORE competition, there are hundreds of beautiful women on the screen now.. There are other GORGEOUS actesses that didn't have the amount of fame as marylin because they didn't have as much DRAMA (sleeping with presidents, baseball stars etc.) in their lives... example Jayne Mansfield.. just remember in Hollywood, any publicity is good publicity, nuff said.

[kat]

Monroe might have been a size 12 at one time but that's because she understood the day and age she lived in. Before she died she had become svelte and thin because she saw the demise of the very decade she defined. Monroe saw the impending Twiggy days and was changing her look accordingly. In her second to the last shoot her breasts and hips were noticabley downplayed and she was dressed in low riding pants. She had moved from white and beige to the bright patterns and colors of Pucci. The woman was ahead of her time in every way. She saw the sixties coming before they even arrived.

Having said that, If Monroe was trying to make it in Hollywood today, she wouldn't be any size 12.

[kat]

p.s.

As far as models and actresses emulating Monroe, it's not that uncommon for famous women to pose as sex symbols in history. Monroe did it. She posed imitating several famous women including Jean Harlow, Cleopatra, Mata Hari and the Gibson Girl.

Lighten up on Lohan. She might be an idiot but she has talent and is evidently provokative enough to have people lighting up this board. I think she has a pretty good take on Monroe actually. If Bert Stern himself considered her up the task then maybe all you cats should pull in your claws.

[Madilyn]

The point is: Why remake someone else's pictures that were good becuase of the essence captured by Marilyn, the natural sexuality that came so easy to her?

Who needed this pictures more: Lohan or Stern. Either way someone should let them know they are terrible looking.

They look forced and trashy. Just another reason to get Lindsay Lohan talked about.... again. (no car and drugs involved this time)

[diggyzazz]

See the whole photshoot here:

http://media.nymag.com/fashion/08/lindsay-as-marilyn/

It features her natty tatties and, through a veil, her nip-nips.

[kat]

You know Monica, I love your blog but the more I read this post on Lohan the madder I get. Lindsey Lohan's biggest problem is her poor judgment but that can be chalked up to her age. She's an immensely talented young woman who should be poised to be accepting an Oscar by now instead of doing a second round in rehab. Like the rest of us, she will want to get in a time machine and beat the hell out of her 20 year old self one day. Lohan may havee starred in Herbie fully loaded but Marilyn sure as hell made her fair share of turkeys.

I say If the girl has the balls to do Monroe in front of Bert Stern himself then good for her.

As a voice for this paper, Monica might also remember that Lohan is a product of papers just like the Times. In Monroe's day the girl could boff the president and get away with it. Bobby Kennedy came to her house. Can you imange what that would be like nowadays?

But these days even "legitimate" papers like the LA Times are as much a part of the hyena pack hounding these people as any low life gossip rag.

As far as Monroe's stellar acting career . . . girl, paleese. Monroe's talent lay in her still work. She was so annoying on screen I personally can't watch her for any length of time. When she died she hadn't had a hit in three years.

So quit it with the sacred cow Marilyn worship. It's even worse for Elvis for god's sake. Marilyn is the gold standard and no one will ever, ever top her. So let them die trying

[EDDIE]

natty tatties? nip-nips?

Grow up...