Should J.Lo and celebrities register for pricey gifts? No.

The rich are not like us, so why do they have to act like us and register for gifts?

Case in point: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony hoped to receive a $1,250 designer diaper bag and a $3,495 Balmoral stroller from friends when they signed up with their wish list at posh Petit Tresor in L.A. The power couple is spending $40,000 on each of their three nurseries and Fortune claims that Lopez is the richest woman under 40. Do you really need someone to buy you a stroller that equals what you make every hour?  And what about Donald Trump? It's old news but he and his wife registered for a $4,000 coffee pot at Tiffany & Co. when they wed. Tacky and obscene, says the Rage. For the record: $25 to $40 is plenty to spend on a baby gift. You should shell out about $100 on a wedding gift--if you are attending alone. Add $50 to $75 if you're a couple or bringing a guest.

Agree or disagree? How much do you spend on a baby or wedding gift?
photos: Petit Tresor; WireImage.

New Chanel store on Robertson Boulevard: First look

There's further proof that Chanel recognizes the importance of the young and dewy set. The new 5,395 sq-ft concept store--seen here--opens on trendy, hip Robertson Boulevard on May 8th and the merchandise will be more "product" driven.

In other words, less boucle jackets and more mini skirts and sunglasses.  The black granite floors and marble shelving sounds sleek and there's theatrical lighting too. Oh and a courtyard, which will probably draw chain smoking starlets.

No doubt, rich Bel-Air teens will go nuts here. The other Chanel on Rodeo Drive--their flagship store--will be their mother ship, literally. The Rage thinks that socialites will still go to Rodeo, while the heiresses will get their caviar bags and ballet flats on Robertson.
Keep in mind: Emma Watson, right, is 17 and she's the new face of Chanel.  See her logo bag? Um, Mom? I want that one. Now!

photos: Chanel; WireImage.

Yo, Vogue: Broke is the new black

Oversized clutches are a must, darling. Don't even think about leaving the house without a crocodile day bag. Haven't you ever heard of a pre-fall collection, silly? Is that last year's Balenciaga? Get with it.

The scent of a recession -- much like day-old Chanel No. 5 -- wafts before us. Housing prices are down, gas prices soar. And yet the fashion industry soldiers on blindly in its $1,200 python pumps like an heiress with amnesia in a Wal-Mart.

On Vogue.com, the week's "Most Wanted" list includes a pair of Miu Miu suede and leather boots -- see left -- that cost $4,300. Over at Elle.com, there's a jeweled Azzaro hair comb that rings in at $630 --though in all fairness to the mag, there is also a $58 woven belt from Arden B. At HarpersBazaar.com, the best buy of the day for Feb. 29 is a $1,275 Chris Benz jacket. It's gorgeous, but a best buy for whom? Oprah Winfrey? And even better, it's listed in their "Affordable Fashions" section.

The real question is this: Will the fashion magazines even acknowledge the fact that our economy is heading for a downturn. An interesting AP article quoted Allure editor Linda Wells saying: "All that ridiculous bling and 'it' bags — there will be a shift away from that." Not yet, apparently. But Pam Danziger, luxury analyst with consumer market research firm Unity Marketing says: "I don't think fashion magazines have their eyes on the needs of consumers. Vogue doesn't care. It's all about image."

The Rage doesn't expect Vogue and Elle to feature articles like, "How to make an oven mitt into an 'it' bag!" or "Hats that double as dog dishes and diaphragms!" But would it kill them to admit that the economy sucks?

Are you tightening your Prada belt? Buying less?

photo: Miu Miu.

Would you buy Barack Obama cologne?

And so it goes. Designers and manufacturers continue to assume that we want to look and smell like celebrities. Why don't they just sell us some damn masks? Justin Timberlake was recently appointed the face of Givenchy perfume -- the old stomping grounds of Audrey Hepburn (see left), for whom the perfume L'Interdit was created. The Rage owns a bottle and it is floral and gamine and could use a note of citrus.  Now, Halle Berry is poised to launch a few fragrances for beauty behemoth, Coty. Interesting fact: Most fragrances only last 2 years in the market, even though it takes 18 months to develop and launch a scent.
Want to smell like a politician? Russian politician Vladimir Zhirinovsky, the leader of the Liberal Democrat Party of Russia, is currently pushing Zhirinovsky for Men. 

Would you buy Barack Obama cologne? L'eaubama?

Photo: Givenchy archives

The Olsen twins are the new Bronte sisters

Mary-Kate and Ashley are assembling a coffee table book on fashion that details their vast style collections. Think Balenciaga shoes, oversized sunglasses, capes, Chanel bags, and more sunglasses. The photos will be taken by celeb shutterbug, Rankin. The sisters, as you may know, have two fashion lines and influence plenty of young girls. They get bushels of flack for dressing like Tibetan sherpas, but the Rage applauds their willingness to take fashion risks and wear up and coming designers. Prediction? Book will definitely sell well.

photos: Retna; Badgley Mischka.

Do you talk about 'In Treatment' during therapy?

The Rage racked up many hours on the old couch, but is no longer in therapy. But she hears that many patients who are addicted to the HBO show are discussing the nuances and  plot twists with their own analysts and therapists. One friend even told his doctor that they were devoting too much time to analyzing the show, instead of his problems. If you think Gabriel Byrne is the new Dr. McDreamy, check out this article in the NYT Styles section today.

Do you and your therapist chat about the show instead of your diminished sex drive? Um, it's called avoidance.

photo: courtesy of HBO.

Pet Cemetery: Jean Paul Gaultier's fur fashions

How many animals does it take to create a fall collection? Ask designer Jean Paul Gaultier, who marched enough fur down the runway at Paris Fashion Week to upholster a fleet of minivans. There were even fox heads still attached to looks to punctuate the point: death becomes her. Gaultier had howling wolves crooning on the show's soundtrack too. The Rage can be cruel, but this is insane.  Fur is unnecessary and quite frankly, any designer who relies on animal skins may as well hang up his coonskin cap. Of course, it's easy to make fur look beautiful on the runway because it is inherently gorgeous. [Ed note: Meaning, it is beautiful on an animal.] Let's see you eke such sartorial glory out of wool and silk and chiffon--now, that's a real challenge.  Want to know which designers are anti-fur? Calvin Klein, Duckie Brown, Benjamin Cho and Stella McCartney are just a few of the industry's darlings who refuse to resort to animal behavior. To see a full roster, check out this list from the Humane Society.

photos: Getty Images.

Why do we kiss?

Kissing is utterly underrated. A two hour make out session always trumps going all the way. A study out of Albright College in Pennsylvania found that humans kiss to assess a mate--much like taking a tiny bite of a strange dish. Breath and taste of saliva affect our decision, which is not surprising. They also found that 85% of women would not have sex with a partner if they didn't kiss first. Not shocking: more than half of the men said that they couldn't give a fig if a smooch preceded sex.
But what about technique? Men like moist, wet open-mouthed kisses, the study found. They need more saliva to assess a mate. Now that explains why the Rage's first kiss felt so slimy.
photos: Spiderman, Sony Pictures; Vertigo, MGM.

The brand new Mariah Carey video

If you're missing Kenneth from "30 Rock"--like the Rage--check out this new video from Mariah Carey. If only Alec Baldwin made a cameo too. Sigh.

Amy Winehouse to launch makeup line. Yikes!

Hide your daughters. The Sun reports today that Amy Winehouse may come out with her own line of makeup and hair products. A source quoted in the article says:

“She wants to bring out a range of cosmetics and fashion products. There could be hairspray, head scarves, liquid eyeliner, perfume. All the things that are distinctive of her look.”

Hairspray? Um, there goes the ozone layer. Wear more SPF, people.

Photos: AP; Wenn