Not sold on 'Juno'

As the Oscars approach and "Juno" fever spreads faster than chicken pox in a sauna, I must speak out. I despised "Juno." So much so that I walked out moments after Juno said: "I'm on my hamburger phone." It was about 17 minutes or so into the movie and I turned to my husband and hissed, "Of course, she is. I must leave." He joined me and we asked the kindly ticket attendant at the Arclight for our money back. She gave us vouchers.

What bugs me most about the "Juno" movement is the fact that people call the dialogue so original and compelling. That initial exchange between Ellen Page and Rainn Wilson is laden with more forced slang and cliches (fertile Myrtle) than I could bear. We also first see Juno smoking a pipe and that pipe, in itself, defines for me everything that is contrived and pretentious about this film.

Juno walks around with a pipe clenched between her teeth so she must be A) alternative and B) eccentric. My grandfather smoked a pipe and all he got for his puffs were dirty looks from my grandmother and lung cancer.  I have yet to find someone who isn't a Juno-phile, but I am sure that I can't be alone in my distaste for this film. If it wins an Academy Award, the Oscars will become the new Grammys -- a popularity contest.

Rene Magritte said: "Ceci n'est pas une pipe."
I say: "Juno n'est pas un film d'Oscar."

Photos: Fox Searchlight

Comments

[curtis vega]

i'm not in the industry, but i can appreciate that a whole lot of time and energy goes into making a film. i don't understand, however, why all the hubub about juno. how many young kids speak that way and sound natural doing so? from the very beginning, i thought the writing had tried too hard - almost to the point that it was annoying. had i not watched it for free, i would have surely asked for a voucher. by the way, i doubt teenage pregnancy in the u.s. today is a joke-filled romp. it will really suck if this film meets with the acclaim of an increasingly arbitrary academy. can anyone say "amy (crackhead) winehouse"?

[r. poynter]

I lasted a few minutes longer than you - minutes I will never get back. I can't remember that last time I walked out of a film. What is fascinating to me are the responses, almost unanimous, from those whom I divulge my hatred of this piece of shit film - they all say "Oh, the first half was Awful, but it gets better." What? and that makes the fiilm OK as a result?

a 16 year old dropping more cultural and sub-cultural references than the most seasoned culturally aware hipster brainiac I've ever met (and I've met a lot) - and we're suppose to buy it? all i could focus on during the movie was picturing this writer sitting in her room crafting these cutesy reference-filled retorts and giggling to herself. Ellen Page? No. She was way too affected in her performance. I can not believe people actually enjoyed this film and not only that but it is nominated for Awards.

[Gregg Humphrey]

Dear Ms. Corcoran:

Always interesting to read a film review film by someone who has watched less than one quarter of it. I suggest you read Dana Stevens article "Hating Juno: How the backlash happened" in the Feb 8 edition of Slate, then see Juno again, and this time try to watch the entire movie through to the end. Then write another review, if you feel the same, fine. But if you approach the film with an open mind, I wager that you will feel differently.

here's the Slate link: http://www.slate.com/id/2183937/nav/tap3/

sincerely,
Gregg Humphrey

[Gabriel Zaldivar]

It is difficult to find your arguments compelling when you haven't seen the whole film.

[Syd]

I COMPLETLY agree with you! I don't understand the hype either. I love "indie" movies because they do a better job at celebrating real life. Juno, however, is not based in reality.
I actually sat through the entire movie and left annoyed. We can all agree that Ellen Page is adorable and has a future, but seriously NO one is that witty and calm. Especially a teenager. I also thought the parents reaction was very unrealistic. Most parents accept teenage pregnancy somehow, but I imagine a lot more yelling and disappoint than displayed in Juno.
And the end? Come on! Happily singing a cheesy song after going through something as traumatic as giving a baby up for adoption? About is "un-indie" as it gets in my opinion.

[Gabriel Zaldivar]

I am so glad that noone goes to movies to escape reality anymore. Can't wait to see more movies based solely on what would actually happen in certain circumstances and how people would react to them. Oh wait...

[Carter]

Me too! I really despised the first half of this movie. I sat through it, and admit it got better, but not good enough to forgive how forced and fake the first hour was. The supporting characters made this movie almost passable. But if you don't buy Ellen Page's character, which I didn't, this movie is really kind of painful to watch. So she's fifteen and pregnant, but it's supposed to be funny because she's a diminutive fast talker spitting out mouthful of cutsie expressions? Didn't work for me. Oscar worthy? Give me a break! I'm not a giant fan of Hughes, Landis, and Reitman Sr. but I keep thinking why is Juno Oscar worthy and not those older movies of the same ilk? Those directors should redo their movies with trendy wardrobe and art direction, obnoxious sing-speak soundtracks, gimmicky objective correlatives (hamburger phones and orange tick tacks) and then top it with self conscience, forced dialogue. Oh, and recast the movies with actors of the (now cliched) flat-affect school, but balance their performances with a barren woman on her knees in a mall, longingly caressing a teenagers exposed, swollen pregnant belly. Bam! Oscar time!

[Phil]

We saw the entire movie and went mostly out of curiosity about how Ellen Page is progressing as an actress since "Hard Candy." I didn't have any difficulty getting through the film, but all of the dialog was contrived and derivative. The adult casting wasn't believable; the actors were mismatched to their roles. There was nothing remarkable about the cinematography, the editing or the story. It was an amusing little film that overplayed its hand.

My wife and I see 80 - 100 movies per year and compile our Top 10 and 10 Runners-up for each year. Nothing about Juno registers when considering 2007's best movies. The idea that Juno had any cred as a noteworthy film for award consideration is baffling enough. That it seems to be gaining awards cred is the Academy's weakness, not ours. This is merely the latest reason why the Oscars and movie critics remain persistently irrelevant.

[jgold]

Oh my goodness, I'm so glad I'm not alone! I went expecting a really cute quirky indie -- and sat through the entire thing in a packed theater -- but left wondering "That was it?". I don't think it deserves an Oscar nomination, especially with such underdeveloped characters and a distinct lack of of the emotional drama that exists with pregnancy/birth/giving up a child for adoption. There was so much more that could have been said or even insinuated that was just ignored.

[Steve]

The one thing more annoying than the movie itself is having people proselytizing that its a great movie. The rediculous verbal barbs exchanged in the beginning between Juno and the shopkeeper make Robin Williams on cocaine seem slow-paced by comparison. The force-fed quirkiness made me want to reach for the airsick bag, meanwhile the rest of the Fast Food Nation in attendance was laughing at such gems as "homeskillet" and "babies just want to be borned." A faux-alt movie for people craving to feel unconformed.

[Ron]

I, too, could have walked out, but instead I made good use of my time and took a long nap.

[g. mulleer]

The argument about having to sit through the whole thing before being able to give your opinion is ridiculous. If halfway through a meal I think it tastes like terrible, finishing it is not going to make me think it's delicious. Sour milk is sour milk, and one sip proves it. You're allowed to dump the rest. When the character of Juno name-checked Soupy Sales, I should've walked, too.

[shane]

it was a freaking movie! the movie would never have been made if the screenplay had been written in the way teens actually speak. if you want reality watch a larry clark film. besides do you not recall being a teen? pretentiousness is what working out who you are is all about. nobody speaks like the characters in any woody allen movie either.
or was it the fact that she was working class and intelligent that you found hard to swallow? god knows we never see that in hollywood.

[Not Aristotle]

Every argument on this board against the script in Juno could be made against every play ever written by Shakespeare. I'm not saying that Ms. Cody is our generation's bard, but you're going to have to do better than an appeal for decorum if you want to cut this movie down.

[smirker]

people keep referring to juno as the new little miss sunshine, when really it seems more like the new napoleon dynamite. but at least napoleon dynamite didn't feel like a competition of who could unnaturally out-quip each other.
on a side note, i wish entertainment weekly would stop blowing smoke up "diablo cody"'s ass. i believe there has been an article about or written by her in every issue since the movie came out...

[ES]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this movie stinks. I've seen all 96 minutes of Juno, and it still sucks. It's contrived, poorly written, emotionally shallow and, worst of all, UNFUNNY.

[Liz]

Exactly.

JUNO IS NOT FOR JADED PEOPLE LIKE YOU.

[Kurt]

Let's get serious here. Juno is a movie. I don't think anyone is supposed to believe that Juno is a "typical" teen or that this movie is intended to depict some sort of reality. Why is everyone taking this so seriously instead of appreciating it for what it is ... a quirky movie with quirky characters and quirky dialog.

Oh .... and although Juno had a pipe in her mouth, she was never smoking it.

So get a grip all of you Juno haters.

[Paul]

Wow, how daring of you to post this months after everyone else. Do you have any original ideas?

[g. mulleer]

Good works of fiction create worlds that work, despite their differences from ours. In musicals people sing. In Shakespeare they talked funny. And in Napoleon Dynamite they voted for Pedro. Brick had the most stylized dialogue of any teen movie I'd ever seen, but it belonged. It seems a lot of people simply don't buy Juno, the scenes, the characters, the lines, the story... and calling it "quirky" won't cut it. Saying it's not supposed to be realistic doesn't save it. Some movies are just not good. Rush Hour 3 wasn't. And neither is Juno. Bad movies exist, and saying they're bad is okay. And look, I love quirky. But Juno, I have seen Rushmore. And you are no Rushmore.