Halloween hangover: Eating reject candy at the office is like dating loser guys

Am I the only one working in an office surrounded by leftover Halloween crap candy? You know the types: Tootsie Rolls, Sweet Tarts, random candy corns, and those circa World War II root beer barrels?

Now, I am not about to join socialite Tinsley Mortimer and start blogging about my caloric intake. That is insanely egocentric and puke-worthy.

But I will allow that I ate approximately 38 pieces of loser candy (I was swallowing the Tootsie Rolls before I finished chewing them!) the other day and I still feel like a manatee two days later.

Ladies: THROW OUT those sad excuses for confections that are scattered around public spaces. Eating that crap is like dating a cheapskate guy who checks out the waitress while you order. You can do better.

There are plenty of Toblerones, Kit Kats and Snickers out there. Hold out for the right candy/man and you'll be much more satisfied.

Photo credits: pumpkin, hallofween.com; Tootsie Rolls, Tootsie Roll Industries; manatee, nwf.org; Toblerone, Toblerone.com; Cary Grant, bbc.com.

Comments

[Ben]

Hey, tootsie rolls are good even if they are dregs (but do chew).