Are you a cougar?

Last night, on "30 Rock," Tina Fey briefly dated a cute guy who was 17 years younger than her. On the show, her friend (played by Jane Krakowski)  says to her: "What can we do? We're cougars."

Yuck.

Why is it that women who date younger men get branded as cats of prey, with sharp claws and pointy fangs? Meanwhile, big, hairy men in their 40s and 50s who chase coeds are considered to be heroes? From here on in, let's refer to them as "grizzled bears."

I don't have a problem with women or men dating more virile partners.  But the definition of a cougar is not just a lady with a yen for a young buck. She's a woman who obsessively does Pilates and insists on proving it. She favors leopard print bustiers, skinny jeans and frosty lip gloss. She's that divorced gal at the office holiday party who won't get off Santa's lap. In fact, she's grinding against him.

Are you a cougar? If you live in Los Angeles, the likelihood of having cougar-like tendencies is significantly higher.  God forbid you allow yourself to have one gray hair here. Or abandon "sexy" for "sophisticated." I wince whenever I see a 50-plus woman with hair too blond, jeans too tight, and a face with nary a laugh line.

At the same time, I just turned 40 this year and I ain't loving the aging process one bit. It's harder to drop a few pounds and I suddenly hate my gums. Then again, I can now afford to order the most expensive entree on the menu and I can travel abroad. Plus, I have more confidence than ever. The tradeoff is tricky, but I prefer today to yesterday.

Honestly, am I a cougar? Sometimes. More gum than fang, alas.

Photo credits: Tina Fey, Esquire; "The Graduate," United Artists; cougar, bigcats.com

Comments

[tippy mayrose]

Oh girlfriend don't I know it...I hem and haw as I turn into ruth gordon before my very eyes. Alas give me a hearse driving, shaggy coat wearing, murderous hoax loving outsider anyday. Daddy I'm throwing you over board. Meow!

[Keila]

Monica, you're awesome for writing this! More power to you.

[Da Martyr]

Almost every guy wants to be with a Cougar at least once in their life.

[Andrew]

haha 50 year old men dating 20 something girls aren't regarded as heroes. And the stigma with older women dating younger men is starting to dissapear. Now they're both equally creepy (unless the older woman is hot... we'd all love to fuck a hot cougar).

[Wulf]

"Grizzled bears"? Are you at all familiar with gay culture? The "bears" moniker is already taken - it's a brawny, hairy gay man.

[carbonware]

Are you kidding when throughout all of history has an old man preying on younger women been a hero? Not in anyone's book. How about leach, creep, dirty old man, pig, and on and on. With a few trumped up Hollywood exceptions it's only ever been cool for older women on the prowl and disgusting and lecherous for an older man. Even when it's been a trophy wife thing in which case they had to get married, which is never the plan for the Cougar, it's about sex, self gratification, and lust for power. Oh I guess then in at least that sense the women are equal to the same piggish men.

[sue krafft]

couger

[Johnny]

Hey, excuse me , But I would be your GRIZZLY BEAR anytime baby!