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 Being childless on Halloween sucks. Sure, I can go out to a party dressed like a slutty DMV lady and drink red beer, but...Well, I can always dress like a loose civil servant and I can drink anytime I want.
If I had a little one, I could accompany my tot from house to house -- we would drive from West Hollywood to a rich suburb like Pasadena -- and collect enough Junior Mints and Mars bars to last through a dozen sugar benders.
I love candy more than sunsets and nature and most of my relatives. I am not alone. Americans eat about 26 pounds of candy every year. I eat about twice that, no doubt.
Maybe that's why I am not dressing up as a slutty microbiologist this year. The lab coat is too tight, alas. Instead, I am going to dress up as a pregnant criminal lawyer and eat a few pounds of candy.
Happy Halloween!
Photo credit: costumecraze.com
 What ever happened to getting dressed up? And how did acid-washed denim become appropriate cocktail attire? I am disgusted with the sloppy state of affairs. Last Sunday night, I attended MOCA's Gala honoring artist Takashi Murakami and designer Marc Jacobs. It was bad enough that MOCA didn't have the chutzpah to call for black-tie. (The attire: cocktail -- whatever that means.)
Even worse, I saw dudes wearing jeans and T-shirts. I shaved my damn legs and bought an Isabel Toledo dress for the occasion, damn it! Even put some hot rollers in my hair, thank you very much.
Two weeks ago, at the Hammer Gala in the Garden for Miuccia Prada and Mike Kelley, it was the same deal. Cocktail attire was the requirement and so, some folks got turned out and others turned up in wrinkled Dockers and again, jeans. Has everyone gone crackers when it comes to dress codes? Yes, I like to wear my jeans and drink cocktails. Hell, I even like cocktails in the raw.
But cocktail attire does not mean pull whatever is atop the hamper heap and then order a highball. Men should wear button-down shirts with blazers; ladies can get away with a little black dress or blouse (yes, I said blouse and I mean a top that needs to be dry cleaned) and slacks.
Personally, I would love to see a return to the tux. Show me a guy in a dinner jacket and I might even do a jig. At the opening night of the Los Angeles Opera, I spotted a man in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts. This moron looked like he had wandered off drunk from one of those Sandals resorts. He had that florid complexion that comes with a dozen mai-tais  and a pound of bar nuts. I was tempted to ask him where the luau was, but my husband told me to wash down my ire with some Champagne.
All that to say: If you're going to a gala, make some effort to look gallant. Wash behind your ears. Get acquainted with a cuff link or two. Maybe even run a comb through your hair and shave. Photo credits: Jack Nicholson, Getty Images; Rat Pack, popartuk.com; Tatum O'Neal, Getty Images.
New Yorkers may snub Cali-style as "too casual." But clearly, when it comes to closet staples,  our classics -- like a structured leather jacket or a flattering pair of jeans -- trump East Coast perennials. Case in point: My esteemed colleague, Emili Vesilind, pointed out to me that Vogue chose "The New Staples" in their November issue and five of those seven items come from Los Angeles designers. Here's a quick rundown of our local heroes and their wares, as picked by Vogue.
 1. The leather jacket by Mike & Chris. The Edward style ($805; ronherman.com) is a fitted, pleated zip-up in luscious lambskin. (I own a jersey trench that I bought at Barney's from this husband and wife design team and it's a compliment magnet.)
2. The bikini by Haverhill. These body-flattering two pieces shouldn't incite terror in you. The designer, Haverhill Leach, keeps the often fulsome female form in mind when she cuts tops and bottoms, ($65 to $85). The vintage-inspired prints are equally pleasing.
 3. The sportgear by FreeCity. This line from Los Angeles designer and VP of menswear at Ron Herman, Nina Garduno, is known for its dove or rainbow logo. But it's the fit and softer-than-silk feel that keep fans flocking to buy more hoodies and tees. The company's art collective ethos is cool too. Check it out at Freecitysupershop.com.
4. The tee by James Perse. Never underestimate the power of a basic tee. Perse doesn't. The designer cuts longer styles, perfect for layering, and keeps the collars at their most sultry -- just the right amount of neckline plunge for brunch in Silver  Lake. Check them out here.
5. The jeans by J Brand. Finding the right denim could be more difficult than splitting the atom. OK, maybe not. But any woman will tell you that losing -- or outgrowing -- a perfect pair of jeans merits an Irish wake. J Brand, a fave of everyone from Angelina Jolie to Beyonce, flatters the front and back.
 Sarah Greenberg -- pictured in Iceland at left -- is co-president of marketing at Lionsgate. Greenberg, who also co-produced the fantastic Leonard Cohen doc "I'm Your Man," graciously agreed to be the first warm body in this  recurring feature that will dissect the bones of someone's personal style. Here are her responses:
Cinematic style icon: Julie Christie 
Mascara or lipstick: Mascara.
Sunglasses du jour: Tom Ford's Camilla frames.
Ring tone: BlackBerry 8800 is on "vibrate" and iPhone is set to "crickets."
To-die-for dessert: Budino (butterscotch pudding) at Mozza.
 Purse of the moment: Python tote bag by Pauric Sweeney.
Go-to outfit: Black Prada suit pants, caramel-colored Prada ribbed cashmere  cardigan, neutral python slingbacks and my Mother's silver pendant from her childhood in Denmark.
Plaid or stripes: Plaid, but very subtle.
Favorite expression: "Freedom lies in being bold" -- Robert Frost .
Shoe of the moment: Bone-colored clogs from the Clogmaster on La Cienega Blvd.
Gin fizz or ginger ale: FIZZ!!!
Best compliment ever received: You will make a great mother.
Favorite table in Los Angeles: My kitchen table, a late 1800s Italian bread-making table.
Animal look-alike: Springbok, a South African antelope.
 This just in: WWD reports that a store called Price Right Perfumes and Watches in New York City was busted for carrying counterfeit scents, including Armani, Chanel, and Ralph Lauren. Their retail inventory equaled about $36,000.
It will be interesting to see how the fragrance industry handles this latest wrinkle in the rip-off trend. What is most alarming to me about this trend is not the lack of floral notes in your fake No. 5, but the chance that a dangerous chemical could be used in place of authentic ingredients. It also makes me wonder about all those creams and perfumes sold on EBay. Have you ever bought a discounted beauty product and received a bad bill of goods?
 Bangs. They can detract a good four years from the face because they make you look younger, girlish even. Every woman, myself included, has one bad bangs story -- typically, it involves a do-it-yourself disaster back when she was 15 years old. What I did was follow Seventeen magazine's guide for cutting your own "wisps." What I got, in the end, was a set of sideburns. What the hell are wisps, anyway, but uncertain bangs? Sort of like the milquetoast version of a full-on commitment to forehead fringe.
Kate Moss and Halle Berry are no cowards when it comes to bangs. Both women have been spotted with a new curtain of hair above their eyes. Moss went all out with the big bang. Berry opted for a side bang  that I like to refer to as the pony forelock. I once asked a stylist at Frederic Fekkai for a "pony's forelock" and even showed him a picture of a palomino to illustrate what I wanted. Was I laughed at? Yes. Did I get a lovely forelock that I could flip to the side? You bet.
On the fence about taking the plunge? Know some facts about bangs before you commit:
1. If you have curly hair, stop reading now. Bangs work best for straight or marginally wavy hair. The whole point of getting bangs is to make life easier, so don't go for it if you will be forced to coerce severe curls or cowlicks to behave every morning.
 2. Bangs can disguise a wide forehead or even a receding hairline, if cut properly. They can also make a long face appear shorter and minimize a round face. The good news is that there are as many variations on bangs as there are face shapes.
3. Bangs, like explosives, should be handled by professionals. If you're not yet old enough to vote, go ahead and cut away. Otherwise, go to a salon and let a stylist create your new look. Always bring a picture when getting a dramatic, new look and tell the stylists how much time you can devote to re-creating that style.
 4. Bangs take about three months to grow out for someone with shoulder length or longer hair. All the more reason to reread the last fact.
5. Bangs draw attention to your eyes. Notice how Moss and Berry both opted for a smoky eye to play up that feature? I like a heavily kohled punk rock eye with long bangs -- it's as tough and sexy as my idol, Chrissie Hynde.
Got a bad bangs story? Tell us about it. Don't skimp on the details. And if you know of a great stylist in Los Angeles who can cut bangs like nobody's business, share it with us here.
 Lauren Bacall, ever a favorite of mine, has always exuded a unique,  gritty grace. She's that woman who can hold her highballs and wink like a sailor without sacrificing a nip of femininity. Earlier this week, I attended Elle magazine's Women in Hollywood tribute night (see picture, right) and Bacall -- being honored as an icon alongside the likes of Diane Lane and Scarlett Johansson -- spoke with such honesty and wit. "I'm very glad to be here because it proves that I'm breathing," said the 83-year-old actress. "A lot of people think I'm dead."
Hardly. The actress is not only starring in the upcoming Paul Schrader movie "The Walker," but she's also launching her own jewelry line later this year. A glance back at her signature style proves that Bacall stuck with a look that worked. She rarely deviated from her coif: a sultry ribbon of caramel waves that framed her strong features. I love her red pants and green sweater combo, which can be modernized with these red skinny Capital E jeans from Levi's ($172) and a cowl neck turtleneck -- I would opt for a black sweater over green to avoid looking like a Christmas ornament.
 This Roberto Cavalli multi-colored pailette dress at Netaporter.com ($4,065) mimics the fit of the gown Bacall wore in a publicity shot -- there is even side ruching, which is so retro and sexy. Bacall was never one for baring  cleavage. In her siren days, she opted for tailored suits and crisp white shirts with vivid scarves. Again, she dressed like a woman who could seduce a man during a game of pool or skip over a puddle without breaking an ankle.
The hair? I can't say enough about Lauren Bacall's distinctive locks. That sensuous ripcurl is all the rage right now in Gucci ads. Some designers are showing a longer Veronica Lake style -- which is gorgeous too -- but Bacall's sophisticated shoulder-grazing bob was a little less look-at-me, but plenty coy. The best way to steal her hairstyle is with a set of jumbo hot rollers from Conair. Be sure to curl the sections of hair under, rather than over, the roller or you will get a flip.
 Lastly, Bacall wears little makeup, save for a cherry pout. (At the Elle event, she  played up her eyes rather than her lips -- which is more age appropriate.) I like Red Premiere lipstick at Sephora from Dior ($26), which is ultra-creamy and works wonders as the focal point of the face. It goes without saying -- I hope -- that you can't just cop the legend's look. If you're going to play Bacall and call attention to your lips, be smart and witty. My favorite Bacall zinger: "Generally women are better than men. They have more character. I prefer men for some things, obviously, but women have a greater sense of honor and are more willing to take a chance with their lives."
 Between the latest poster for the annual blood drive sponsored by horror movie "Saw IV" and the naughty logo medics at Louis Vuitton's Paris show, nurses are getting a sexy shot in the arm. FYI: The "Saw" nurses -- this is the fourth annual blood drive and past posters are collectibles -- all work at Lionsgate, the studio behind the "Saw" franchise. I must say that the vampy lips and crimson nail polish are a genius touch. To find out how to donate your own Type O at a "Saw IV" blood drive, go here.
Meanwhile, the nurses that Marc Jacobs sent down the runway for Louis Vuitton were also outfitted in retro uniforms, with a twist. Models wore a sensual face mask--a dainty black, lace kerchief that barely concealed their red pouts -- and the vintage winged caps that resembled
meringues. In this case, the fetishized homage had more to do with artist
Richard Prince than Jacobs' own recent decamp to rehab. Prince, who did his own nurse series based on pulp fiction book covers in 2003, collaborated with Jacobs on the Louis Vuitton handbags.
 Clearly, nurses get tired of the image of a sexed-up, pulse-quickening Florence Nightingale. When W magazine published a photo of Kate Moss (styled by Richard Prince) in a tight, white pleather nurses uniform, readers wrote in to refute the practicality of a vinyl get-up. Never mind the fact that Moss' tiny uniform would have become X-rated as soon as she bent over to pick up a bed pan. 
Oh and don't forget Ursula Andress as "The Sensuous Nurse" in the 1979 lusty, ludicrous romp. Andress -- perhaps best known as Bond gal Honey Ryder -- wears a short, skimpy uniform that she can't seem to keep buttoned. It's bloody bad.
Photo credits: Saw IV, Lionsgate; Louis Vuitton, Vogue; Kate Moss, W.
  Jeweled brooch on left lapel? Check. Oversized chapeau? Check. Pearl earrings? Checkeroo.
Either Rachel Zoe -- the stylist known for transforming starlets into her monolithic vision of a 1970s socialite -- has started working with royalty or Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, is angling to be mistaken for the Queen.
Photo credits: Wireimage
 Will Posh host a slumber party when the Spice Girls come to town? Will Mel B., a.k.a Scary, egg Eddie Murphy's house?
On Nov. 15, the reunited troupe will perform at the Victoria's Secret fashion show at the Kodak Theater to kick off their international tour. Animal print addict Roberto Cavalli designed their tour outfits, so expect zebra thongs, cheetah bustiers and the like.
Last year, Justin Timberlake brought his brand of sexy to the event and the show is always a major celebrity magnet. If you don't have a front row seat, don't despair. It will be aired on CBS.
Word on the street has it that Brian Grazer wants to make a biopic on the life of designer Vivienne Westwood. You know, of course, that there are three Chanel biopics in the works right now. Hey Hollywood, how about making just one great Chanel movie?
Anyway, who do you think would make a great Vivienne? I am leaning toward Kirsten Dunst for young Viv.
 This just in: The Vision Council of America has released a study in which 59.2% of people surveyed said that someone wearing glasses looked "intelligent." Hollywood agrees. Think of all the movies in which the smart girl or the scientist dons a pair of specs. My all-time fave would be Tara Reid as a scientist in "Alone in the Dark."
...love her. Miss her. Resent her. Respect her. Idolize her. Agonize over her. Wear the same perfume as her. Can still recall the scent of the coral lipstick she wore in 1977. Would love to get her recipe for Welsh Rarebit. Hope she goes to therapy soon. Remember that Sunday she helped you bury your imaginary friend that she ran down in the driveway. Can't forgive her yet, but maybe someday.
This old picture of Shirley Maclaine and her daughter Sachiko struck me. Not sure how they get along now, but they were nuts for each other one afternoon.
 The year was 1968. I was just a baby and my Mom says that I wailed a lot and tried to eat wallpaper. Meanwhile, over in Paris, muse extraordinaire Jane Birkin was flitting around town with singer Serge Gainsbourg and carrying a hamper. Oh, the injustice! Birkin recorded the hit "Je t'aime...moi non plus" (I love you...me neither) with Gainsbourg and acted in movies like "Blow Up," "La Pirate" and "Evil Under the Sun." We all know which bag she carries -- incidentally, the head of Hermes named the "Birkin" for the stunner in 1984 after he saw her struggling with a few bags.
BUT WHICH SCENT DOES BIRKIN PREFER?
L'air de Rien by Miller Harris, which is a blend of Tunisian neroli, sweet musk, amber, vanilla and French oak moss created exclusively for her. You can buy it here for $150.
 To find out more about Birkin's latest pursuits -- movies, records, philanthropy -- press here. A French film called "Boxes" just debuted at Cannes this year and should be showing here soon. I will post word once I find out the U.S. release date. Who wants to play hooky from work and meet me for an afternoon movie? I'll even spring for le popcorn.
Forget all those hip-hop rogues with their grills and gats. Ridley Scott's upcoming film, "American Gangster," could cause a much-needed sea  change in the way to dress tough. Denzel Washington, a man whose  impeccable style makes my eyes water with appreciation, kills it again. The movie revolves around black crime boss Frank Lucas and the cop who ... well, you know. It's set in New York in the '70s and debuts on Nov. 2. The costumes come from Janty Yates, who won an Oscar for her work with Scott on "Gladiator." I will try to arrange a Q&A with Yates for next week, so we can listen and learn. In the meantime, ogle more Washington and check out Russell Crowe. I think the '70s was a damn good era for guys, when it comes to style. Men, take notes.
Photo credits: Universal Pictures
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Being childless on Halloween sucks. Sure, I can go out to a party dressed like a slutty DMV lady and drink red beer, but...Well, I can always dress like a loose civil servant and I can drink anytime I want. 
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